Real life... once again.

My life just got another dose of reality. It is, what it is. Just taking everything one day at a time and once again will do everything in my power for my children. This time it is with Skywalker. At his 1 year appointment I brought up my concerns about his speech development. I felt he was not hitting proper milestones for communication, or showing signs he was on his way to hitting them. We talked and she agreed that it was worth doing an evaluation to see where he falls and if he qualifies for support/therapy.

We had the first appointment yesterday with Early Intervention. This was just a brief assessment to see if the concern is valid and if a full assessment is needed. Even before we got started she told me she was going to put in to have a full evaluation done due to family history and talking me she knew I my gut was worth something. But her evaluation confirmed it. So we will be having a full evaluation done on Skywalker in the coming weeks for a communication delay. I do not feel he has any other delays, but they will do a full evaluation to be sure nothing else is showing. I am grateful for that. Maybe if things had been handled this way with Marshmallow, we would have known about his autism 18 months sooner!! And looking at the evaluation forms, we would have!

So it begins all over again. And of course it is all in the midst of me feeling like there is not enough of me to go around. With no back-up and little support locally. I need a mommy break. I need a break. I have been burning the candle at both ends for months, even before hubby left. I somehow find the energy to get through each new day and keep trudging forward. But it is not without wear. I am grateful I have my concerns validated, but not thrilled to have more therapy and more to focus on in my already maxed out day. It will be nice to have C home again, but that will not be for many more months. So it is just me.

I have to chuckle Marshmallow is trying his prompts on Skywalker, so he will be a great little therapy helper. He told Skywalker he had to say "I want popcorn, please" in order for him to get the popcorn. I could not help but laugh. He gets it. Which is why that prompt is an expectation for Marshmallow. He knows it, and even is telling his brother how it works!! Thankfully, in this all it is something we already are doing and working on. I just want Skywalker to get the extra support he too deserves and needs. Also maybe learn a new way or two to help him with this delay, but for the most part. I got this. I know what we are doing. I have been doing, which is why I had concerns. Me doing therapy with him on my own is not making a difference. He is not desiring to mimic and communicate. But it will come. Just got to help him a long a little.

So my days will soon become that much more full. My days are never ending and seem to blur together. Skywalker is still keeping me up at night, waking several times a night for the most part. Every once in a while he only wakes once (like once a week, if I am lucky). Then my days look like this  ::

Monday :: 7a - wake up // get dressed // breakfast // make snack for school // 745a - leave to drop Marshmallow off at school // home to feed, dress and change Skywalker // work on chores or run errands while only have one kid // 1045a - leave to pick up Marshmallow // 1130a - home for therapy with J // therapy with J & try to get a few things done in between working with Marshmallow // 4p - J leaves // 420p - get ready and leave for karate // 520p - head home // dinner // bath // bedtime by 8p // do things around the home // write C a letter // hope to get to bed before 11p // feedings with Skywalker usually every 2-3 hours all night long

Tuesday :: 7a - wake up // get dressed // breakfast // make snack for school // 745a - leave to drop Marshmallow off at school // home to feed, dress and change Skywalker // work on chores or run errands while only have one kid // 1045a - leave to pick up Marshmallow // 1115a - OT for Marshmallow // adventure, usually to the zoo or errands // 3p - speech therapy with Marshmallow // 4p - head home // 515p - arrive home // dinner // bedtime by 8p // do things around the home // write C a letter // hope to get to bed before 11p // feedings with Skywalker usually every 2-3 hours all night long

Wednesday :: 7a - wake up // get dressed // breakfast // make snack for school // 745a - leave to drop Marshmallow off at school // home to feed, dress and change Skywalker // work on chores or run errands while only have one kid // 1045a - leave to pick up Marshmallow // 1130a - home for therapy with J // therapy with J & try to get a few things done in between working with Marshmallow // 345p - J leaves // 345p - get ready and leave for karate // 5p - head home // dinner // bath // bedtime by 8p // do things around the home // write C a letter // hope to get to bed before 11p // feedings with Skywalker usually every 2-3 hours all night long

Thursday :: 7a - wake up // get dressed // breakfast // make snack for school // 745a - leave to drop Marshmallow off at school // home to feed, dress and change Skywalker // work on chores or run errands while only have one kid // 1045a - leave to pick up Marshmallow // 1130a - home for therapy with J // therapy with J & try to get a few things done in between working with Marshmallow // 4p - J leaves // a little time with the boys // dinner // bedtime by 8p // do things around the home // write C a letter // hope to get to bed before 11p // feedings with Skywalker usually every 2-3 hours all night long

Friday :: 7a - wake up // get dressed // breakfast // errands or doctor appointments or get things done // 1130a - home for therapy with J // therapy with J & try to get a few things done in between working with Marshmallow // a friend has been coming over to help so I get a few more things done and Marshmallow gets to work on social goals during therapy // 4p - J leaves // dinner // bath // bedtime by 8p // do things around the home // write C a letter // hope to get to bed before 11p // feedings with Skywalker usually every 2-3 hours all night long

Saturday :: 7a - wake up // get dressed // breakfast // 9a - karate // 10a - home from karate // get things done around the house if possible or get out of the house with the boys // work on a day of the home school curriculum // lunch in there somewhere //dinner by 6p // bath // bedtime by 8p // do things around the home // write C a letter // hope to get to bed before 11p // feedings with Skywalker usually every 2-3 hours all night long

Sunday :: 7a - wake up // get dressed // breakfast // 945a - leave for church // 12p - home from church // lunch // school lesson // play and get things done // dinner by 6p // bedtime by 8p // do things around the home // write C a letter // hope to get to bed before 11p // feedings with Skywalker usually every 2-3 hours all night long

This is the gist of my day, weekly. My days are full and never stopping. I am standing currently in the kitchen as I type this.

Oh and for the first time EVER since having my own phone plan I went over on my minutes. BY TWO HOURS! I used around 520 minutes this past month making phone calls to get things done. I never touch my not in plan minutes or whatever you want to call them. I use maybe 30 minutes a month. Pretty much all my calls are to our "friends and family 10" or they are verizon users. So want to know what I do in my spare time between tantrums/meltdowns, therapy, and loosing my mind. I am on the phone dealing with therapy, tricare, doctor offices, planning our trip to see C at the end of this month, the stupid MVD, calling the court for a jury duty notice. You name it I have dealt with it on the phone. And being put on hold forever!!

Yet, somehow I always find a way to get through each day and onto the next. My house is NOT clean. There are always dishes in the sink. I only shower about twice a week (cant believe I am admitting this). The kids are fed. The dog is fed. And we are all alive. That is about all I can handle right now. But I got this! 

How are we almost in MAY?

This year is just flying by. I do not know where any of this year has actually gone. My days fly by with a blink of the eye. We are just so busy with everything going on in life. Plus lots of big changes have been happening for our family. The biggest is I am officially a military wife. Hubby is at basic training for the Air Force. We are 21 days in and he will not be back home until November. So we have a while to go. It is a HUGE change for our family for sure. I have spent much of the last couple months preparing our family for this change to make the transition as smooth as possible for our boys, but especially for Marshmallow.

We have been hold up very well. Marshmallow is currently exploring and discovering emotions. Great timing for such a huge emotional change, so he is a bit of a roller-coaster ride right now. But I expected nothing less. We take it moment by moment. We have done a ton to help him with this transition though. C did a million and one videos before he left of reading books, singing bed time songs, just goofing off and a few love notes for each week for us all to watch. I stock piled the military, daddy leaving, books and we read one every night. Both boys also got a "daddy bear", a Build-a-Bear that is in military camo with a voice recording from C. I also got both boys a blanket that C slept with for the month before he left. A special daddy blanket that is full of hugs and love, for each of our kiddos. Marshmallow does like to bring daddy bear around with us from time to time, which is fine. I will not limit him doing this in any way. Skywalker just giggles and smiles when I play the voice recording and tackles his daddy bear. He too likes to drag his daddy bear all over the house.

I have also put together a paper chain for Marshmallow to countdown till our first visit to see daddy at his basic training graduation. Which is 30 days from today. That has helped his visually see the days we have till we get to see daddy. He has not fully grasped the idea, but does understand it. He knows we see daddy when we finish pulling them all off. But he does not fully get the why. And that is okay. We are just taking it one day at a time. He has some sad days and some very sad moments. But I can usually cheer him up fairly quickly. We talk about daddy, and what daddy is doing, and when we get to see him. He tells me "Daddy miss me." "Daddy leave. Daddy Air Show." "Miss Daddy." And every time we hear a plan he tells me daddy at air show school. He is too stinking cute.

So we are just chugging along. I am keeping things tied together and just going one foot in front of the other. Life is busy, which helps a ton. Marshmallow is doing about 20 hours a week of ABA therapy now. Plus he is doing the hour of speech, hour of OT and hour of PT. Plus karate 4 days a week. We stay busy. Between school and therapy, he has a full time job. But every minute of all of it is so worth it. He is no where near the same kid he was 1 year ago! He has come so far in such a short time. It is absolutely crazy to reflect back on where he was a year ago, to where he is today.

A year ago, he was saying one word sentences. Mainly with prompts or mimicked speech. Today he is telling me stories about his day and having full conversations with me. Today he told his ABA therapist about the time, months ago, when a bird flew into our kitchen window. How he remembers this stuff, I will never know. But he was so excited to share that with his therapist today. We are still lacking some language and he is still a bit hard to understand, especially to those who do not spend much time with him. But he is trying and wanting to communicate! A year ago, he would not look at someone in the eyes. He would not interact or play with a peer unless the peer initiated the play. He was barely even participating in parallel play (playing next to, but not with someone). Now he will go grab a peers hand and tell them to play with him or tell them to come and play. He will look you in the eye, sometimes with encouragement and prompting, but he can and will do it! We never force. My child who a year ago would only eat a few things and panicked about foods on his plate will eat a few bites of everything on his plate. Yes, I have to encourage and remind him of our 4 bite rule, but he does and with little struggle. We still have lots to improve on, but he is a seriously amazing kiddo. It is so amazing to see how far he has come in a year.

Our therapists constantly tell us he is the prime example of early intervention working. All the hours of therapy, all the hours of stress, all the hours of struggle are worth it. I put it down to all the hours of therapy, the consistency and routine we have put in place. We have picked out battles and I have my set expectations for behavior. I can not waiver from the lines we have drawn. It is hard, but so worth it. He never stops amazing us with what he is capable of. We are very blessed by him, and Skywalker too.

So life for now ticks on. Skywalker for the most part is just along for the ride for now. But he is starting to become his own little personality. And can not believe he will be 1 in just a few short days! I will hopefully post more about him soon. He is certainly my little fire cracker and always keeps me on my toes. But would not have it any other ways. So for now it is just me and the boys cruising along. We are doing well. Just taking everything moment by moment, and day by day. We can do it!

November ends. December begins.

We have had a few really busy weeks lately. Everything is all about he run around. I feel like November just disappeared and never even happened. Seriously. Was it not just Halloween? Now we are into December and only a few weeks left in 2015. CRAZY. I am not sure where time really goes, but it needs to SLOW down.

The last couple weeks we had family in town. My in-laws or better known as Nanny & Pop-Pa (how Marshmallow says Grandpa). Marshmallow was really excited about them being here. For the few days leading up to their visit we were telling him each night that he was going to see Nanny & Pop-pa, then we would be going on a train and get to see Santa, in preparations of a few long days of traveling. Every morning he would ask "Pop-pa" and we would say "# days". The day we left to go to Vegas to meet up with Nanny & Pop-pa, Marshmallow was so excited. He wanted them here, NOW. Within moments of arriving in Vegas and taking a few shy minutes, he was all over Pop-pa, especially, and has not left his side since that moment. He is all about Pop-pa. He loves Nanny too, but Pop-pa is the bees knees. And no one else matters when he is here.

We spent a day in Vegas seeing the sights. We took him to the Natural History Museum, where Marshmallow had a blast playing with blocks that simulated an earthquake. He would build them up and push the button, and they would shake and shake and shake and all come crashing down. He did this over and over again for a good 20 minutes and was not thrilled when we went to move on to the next room.

We left Vegas and heading east to the Grand Canyon. A first visit for both Marshmallow and Skywalker. It has been a few years since we last went up there to see this beautiful hole in the ground. It was cold. Pop-pa, Nanny and Marshmallow went ahead while I bundled Skywalker up. By the time we were heading the the canyons edge, they were hurrying back saying it is too cold. They went off to the visitor's center while Skywalker, C & I went to see the canyons edge.

The last stop on our three day run around was Williams, AZ for the Polar Express Train ride. Marshmallow was so excited about the train. As he is obsessed with trains. He could not contain his excitement. All the way there, every time he saw a train or train tracks, he was sure to tell us. So off to the Polar Express we drove.

If you ever have the chance to do this train ride, DO IT! It is such an enchanting experience. Despite being 1.5 hours long, time passed so quickly and it was over before we knew it. It really was a magical experience. They had the characters all there. They served us hot cocoa and cookies, and seconds of course. They had us travel a time warp to get to the North Pole. We got to ride through Santa's village. Which Marshmallow was pressed against the window, ready to jump out the window if he could. Then Santa came on board and Marshmallow got the very first gift of Christmas, just happened we were in the back of the train where Santa boarded. We all got a special silver bell. Then we sang Christmas songs all the way back to Williams. Skywalker had a blast too. Another train ride to add to his books. This make 4 train rides in his short 7 months of life.

After the train ride, we stopped in to see Santa again and to get pictures. Marshmallow always seems so excited about Santa, until it is time to go over to him and say hi. Well this time he actually went over to him without any issue and sat right in his lap. Skywalker had fallen asleep and slept right on through the entire Santa experience. But we got the sweetest pictures of the boys with Santa for this year! It is absolutely perfect in every way!

We also took an adventure to Montezuma Castle National Monument. It was somewhere we had never been, but always talked about visiting. It was a neat little place. Nothing too big. But always worth to stop and see the unique places in our country and learn a little more history. It was a fun afternoon adventure. 

Marshmallow also had a first while we were there of playing in fallen leaves. He was timid at first and did not want to step on them. But once we showed him, he got really into it and did not want to stop playing in the leaves. Every child should be able to experience they joy of romping around in and throwing leaves!

This same day we also went to visit the largest Christmas Tree in America. This year the tree reaches over 100 feet tall. It is incredible to see. We always try to go visit Anthem to see their tree, as they always have the largest in the country. We also hit up some of the outlets while there for new clothing and shoes for Marshmallow. He was in desperate need of some new things, as he had really grown quiet a bit in the last couple months. Anyhow, both Marshmallow and Skywalker loved seeing the Tree, especially all lit at night.

So yes, it was a busy few weeks that brought us into December. But they were fun and eventful. Lots of great memories for each of the boys. This is turning to be a great first Christmas for Skywalker and a wonderful one to add to the list for Marshmallow.

Fall Update :: Mommy

:: Mommy ::

It has been a very long hard year. But very rewarding. I can not believe how much my life has changed in one year. It seems one year ago was forever ago. But at the same time it feels like it was just yesterday.

A year ago, autism was just a word. A diagnosis that meant very little in my own life. I did not even know what it really meant. It was just a word. A year later, while I still know very little about autism in the grand scheme of it all, my life circles around this word, around this diagnosis. Around my child with autism. Some days I still do not believe it. I just want my old life back. Not to say that I would trade this life in for another. But I miss friendships. I miss having time for me. I miss being a typical parent. I wish I could understand my child more than I actually do. I wish my life was not full of therapy. But I also hate living in the world of I wish and what if. This is the life I have been handed and I am doing the best that I possibly can.

I have to admit this life has become very lonely. I do not have time for friendships. The ones that I do have are because they are the ones who make me important in their lives. They are the ones that call me and text me. They are the ones that stand by me and walk beside me when I am having a bad day. That number has thinned a lot in the last year. I know it is because of me. I just do not have the time to give to having friends. It is sad, but true. This life has become lonely. I used to once meet with friends almost daily. Go for lunches or meet-ups for a girls night out. I can not tell you the last time I just met a friend for lunch or had a girls night out. It has been at least 3 months, if not longer. I no longer hear from many friends and it is always a sad reminder when I see that several of them met up and knowing they no longer invite me because I always say "I can't make it." So the invitations stopped. This life is lonely. My once social butterfly personality is now hindered by the life I have to live for my children, to make sure they get the best they can get. That is worth all the sorrow. The improvements that Marshmallow makes daily, makes every lonely, hard day worth it.

I have a busy life. But it is my kid's life that makes it busy. I spend hours stuck at home, in therapy or driving. All while Skywalker is also in tow. Every day is busy. Monday, Wednesday, Thursday & Fridays J is here from 1200 to 1600 for ABA therapy with Marshmallow. Sometimes I try to do somethings around the house, but for the most part I am involved regularly in this time with him. I am trying to pull more of his home school materials out during this time, so J can use them to work on various goals with Marshmallow. I have karate Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays for about 45 minutes with Marshmallow. Tuesdays are booked with OT and Speech, we do not get home till after 1600 most of the time. I try to schedule appointments for Skywalker while Marshmallow is at preschool from 0800-1100 Monday to Thursday. Sundays we go to church in the mornings. Fridays I bible study with a few ladies in the morning with the boys before therapy with J in the afternoons. Saturday and Sunday afternoons are really my only free time. The only time I have to get things really done around the house or take the boys out of the house. Until J started, K would come for therapy with Marshmallow on Saturdays, so having Saturdays open is fairly new. Not to mention we try to have family time in the evenings if possible once C gets home from work. So no, I really just do not have time in my day to meet friends any more. My life is crammed into these little 2 hours time blocks in the morning while Marshmallow is at school. Plus I have Skywalker still breastfeeding every 2 hours all day and night long. So even though I may be able to get away in the evening, with Skywalker in tow, I am tired. I am exhausted. Because I have not slept longer than 2-3 hours straight in over 2 months. Life is tiring and busy. I run all day long and still do not stop at night.

I feel like I have to explain why I fell from everyone's life in the last year. This is why. I wish I had time. I wish I could build those relationships or repair the damage done. Sadly, it just will not be happening. Not now. And not really for a while. It saddens me. I can not be the one to reach out, I need to be the one reached out to. I have learned who really cares. I know life is busy for everyone. But I was expected to drive to everyone and everywhere for so long, very few come to me. And right now the only way is to come to me. My day is stuck at home so Marshmallow can have therapy. I can not leave. I have to be here. It is my life. I wish others would really understand that. I know there are a few who do. I wish more did though. I am so grateful for the few who do get it and understand. For those that reach out to me and keep me grounded. They are angels in my life.

I have my saving graces. I have a couple of amazing mom groups and support groups that have been my outlet for the last year. I wish I could make more meet ups and build these relationships more in real life, instead of on line. But I will take what I can get. Many of these moms walk this same life. They also just do not have the time. Their lives are just as crazy and busy. I appriciate these women so much. I do not say it enough or tell them enough. But I appreciate knowing I am not alone. I appreciate every time they invite me out, or check in to see how I have been doing. Ask me how the boys are doing and how appointments and such went. I wish I could form these relationships more. One day I hope to have the ability to do so again.

So for now, this is me. I am still struggling with everything happening in my life. I mourn the life I once had. But am grateful for the life I do have. For the ability to be my son's biggest advocate. I know that without everything I have been doing and everything that I push to do for him, he would not have come as far as he has in the last year. Autism is for life, but we can make it the best we possibly can for him. I work daily to give him the best I can. I know some days I fail as a mom, and certainly fail as an autism mom. But I am still here. I am still standing strong for my son. I am standing strong for Skywalker too. I will be his biggest supporter too.

I am here, I just can not do it all. I have to learn to be okay with where my life is currently. And what everything that has happened in the last year really means for my life. It has been a roller coaster of a year. And I know this roller coaster will not be ending any time soon.

So for now I find my happiness in the small things of everyday life. The little things that make me laugh and smile. I have to find the joy in all things, not just the big things. Without it I would never get from one day to the next. I have to find a blessing in everyday.

Moments like these. Having a great day at the zoo with a sleeping sweet pea on my back. It is love. I will do anything for these boys because I love them so much. It is love.

Fall Update :: Skywalker

:: Skywalker :: 

Well, Skywalker is 6 months old. Half-way to his first birthday. I am not quite sure where time has gone or where it keeps flying off to, but it is going somewhere.

Skywalker is so different from Marshmallow in so many ways. He always surprises me. He does things that either Marshmallow never really did or I just completely forgot about him doing. Skywalker is hitting all his milestones with ease. He is actually tracking ahead and hitting many 9 month milestones already. He is currently on his way to becoming a furniture cruiser with all the pulling up and standing he is doing lately. He crawls now with gusto and sits himself up with ease. He loves to tell me stories, babbling all day long. He absolutely loves his feet and is constantly sticking them his mouth. He has the sweetest smiles and the cutest squeak of a giggle. Definitely stealing our hearts the same way that Marshmallow did.

Back in September, Skywalker had a seizure while we were spending time with family in NH. We are not entirely sure what caused it or why. We did take him to the ER just to be sure that he was okay and nothing more was going on with him. Thankfully, he has not had any more since then. We have taken him to a neurologist to have it looked into. They had him get an EEG to see if there was any abnormal brain activity. Everything thankfully came back normal. If he has another seizure they will repeat with a longer test. They will also want to do a brain ultrasound or an MRI pending his age. The neurologist has no concerns about it though as he is developing normally and hitting all his milestones. Typically a child that suffers from seizures will be delayed with milestones as it interferes with how the brain functions. So for now, we wait to see if it will happen again. 

Currently the only concern with Skywalker is his weight gain. He seems to continually be falling off his growth curve. He was originally a big boy in the 50-75^th percentile for weight. But lost weight from 3 to 4 months dropping him to the 15^th percentile. And at his last appointment he only gained a few ounces from 5 to 6 months putting him in the 5^th percentile for weight. We did a swallow study in October, as he chokes a lot while breastfeeding. The swallow study showed that he was not having reflux or issues swallowing. That does not mean that there is not issues happening, they just did not show on the test. We also had his lip tie revision done at the end of September. I was hoping this would help with some of our struggles that we are still having with breastfeeding. While it has gotten better, we are still having some difficulty. I am currently looking at getting another opinion on his tongue tie to see if it is worth having that released. As many of the issues I have having with breastfeeding are pointing at him having a tongue tie. The doctor that preformed his lip tie, did say that Skywalker has a tongue tie. That it is a deep posterior tie that did not seem all that significant, but after seeing a lactation consultant again yesterday, we think it is best to have it evaluated again. As it may be more significant than it is appearing to really be.

In addition to further looking into his tongue ties, we have also now been referred to a pediatric GI. So just waiting for them to call so we can set up the appointment. For now, I am just continuing to feed him every two hours and we have begun adding solid foods two times a day as well, in between breastfeeding sessions. We have a weight check tomorrow and another then he turns 7 months old in a couple weeks. We are hoping he will not continued to fall in weight.

Everything else is going grand with him. Marshmallow is really warming up to being a big brother and seems to sometimes enjoy having Skywalker around. Skywalker sure loves being a little brother and loves his big brother. He follows Marshmallow all over the room and tracks his every movement. It will be fun to see how they interact as Skywalker continues to grow. It is exciting watching their bond form. I have a feeling Skywalker is going to totally be the annoying tag-a-long little brother, the shadow that big brother really does not want to have. But at the same time I see Marshmallow totally starting to love on his little brother, he really thinks at times that his little brother is a doll for all his games. It certainly is fun to watch. 

  

Fall Update :: Marshmallow

It has been too long since my last real update. Life has just been busy with have two little ones to chase around all day long.

:: Marshmallow ::

As you can read in other recent posts, he has been doing amazing. We are constantly shocked at how far he has come in such a short amount of time. A year ago was when we really started on the this journey, and we were told that falls on the autism spectrum. It has been a never ending roller coaster since. I have not had much time to stop and breathe. We have just been chugging along, bulldozing it as we go. I just know I can not stop. And the results of doing it it all, is clear as day. No matter how tired or worn out I am in doing this all, every moment has been worth it. Yes, we have good days and we have horrible, no good, I want to start over days. Some days are just long and frustrating for us all. And for as much as it may be frustrating for me being a parent, I know it is just as frustrating for Marshmallow with all his limitations and not being able to to express himself the same way as a typical preschooler. But we all push on and keep moving forward. One day at a time, whether a good day or a bad one. We move forward. 

Back in September/October we lost our therapist. She no longer works with the agency we are using, so we had a bit of a break where we did not have someone coming for his ABA therapy. We still met with our BCBA//Hab-M to keep her posted on his progress and keep moving forward with his goals on our own, until we had a new provider assigned to his case. Well mid-October we got a new one, we shall call J. As soon as I was told that the new provider was going to be a male, I was stoked. Marshmallow has always like men better than women, even as a baby. I knew it would be a great pairing for him. And sure enough, within moments of J first coming over Marshmallow was dragging him all over our house showing him things. It took no time at all for them to build a relationship. J has a ton of experience in this line of work and has a sibling with autism as well. So none of this is new to him. We are definitely excited to have him working with Marshmallow! 

The first couple weeks was just doing some pairing and J seeing where Marshmallow was at on the currently list of goals. Just getting a feel for what all Marshmallow needed, while building that relationship. He was able to attend a party with us that a fellow austim family had for Halloween. It was perfect. J got to see how Marshmallow is doing socially and how he interacts with is peers in a relaxed setting. J also took some time one day to stop by and visit Marshmallow at school. To see how he is doing in the classroom setting and to hope to get a good gauge for some new goals there as well. After a couple weeks, he has started to work with Marshmallow on his current goals. It has been going very well. I just need to do better at helping to make that time better organized and have our day planned out a bit better. Right now a HUGE focus has been on Marshmallow adjusting to Skywalker being mobile and wanting to play in his space, with his things. Sharing is hard. So we have been creating some of this, to really force Marshmallow to work on this area. He does well on small scale, but lots to still work on. We also have tons of other goals that deal with communication and various skills. They are always changing as he meets the ones we are currently working on. Most of the time he just flies through his goals, making such huge progress.

6 months ago one of his goals was just getting him to label items. Like door. Not out of need or want. Just to label things in his environment. Now, he tells me "Butterfly outside", "Skywalker crying", "Clouds raining" making all sorts of observations and wanting to share them with us. We have always been working on using words for needs and wants as well, and have gone from 1-2 words for these requests to full sentences. Sometimes needing prompting, but he always gets it. He will say "I want popcorn, please." And if I do not put butter on it. He will ask for butter. Or ask for a bowl to put it in. He is filling in the missing gaps. Asking for what is missing. He has just come so far in 6 month with his communication skills.

Another big change has been in his social skills. 6 months ago he needed someone else to initiate play with him and keep him engaged. Now not only does he fully engage with his peers on his own, he also initiates play with his peers. He will grab a hand or tell them to come. He has a sparkle when he plays with his friends now. He also pretend plays a ton more. He takes everyday activities and puts them into play. His imagination has gone wild. He has a blast when playing with his Legos or his Little People. He makes up these big scenarios and plays them out. He also knows the names of the friends we see regularly and gets excited about seeing them when I tell him that we are seeing certain people that day. This is not the same boy from less than 6 months ago. 

Last month we decided to add in Occupational Therapy to his schedule. The main reason for this is for Marshmallows sensory issues. As his communication and social skills have flourished, we have noticed an increase in sensory behaviors. This is very typical. Lots of ebb and flow in the autism world. Steps forward in one area and steps back in another. Marshmallow has been stimming a lot more lately. Such as the arm flapping, spinning, and jumping. He also is having harder times focusing in crowded areas and is bothered a lot more by noise. He constantly covers his ears and tells me things are loud. He hates when I run the washer machine or dryer with the laundry door open, as it is loud. He will go shut it or tell me loud covering his ears. So at OT they are helping him manage when he has sensory overloads. They are working with him in the open gym area focusing on an activity while he wants to bounce around to everything else going on in the room. They have him doing some fine motor skills as well to just help fine tune some of them, especially in the personal care area. Such as putting on his shoes and socks. So for now we have added an hour of OT a week into our routine. 

He has been chugging along at speech therapy as well. He has been doing fantastic. They have him working with another little girl during his sessions to help with the sharing and social skills some more. It is good for both of them. We have talked about adding in feeding therapy at some point as well. But we have found some things that have been working to get him to eat different food. Even if just one bite at a time. It is a start. So we are putting that on hold to see if he really needs it. 

Preschool is the last piece that we have been working on. He is doing amazing. You can read more about school in this post :: Fresh Start - Preschool. In short, I am so glad we decided to pull him from the public school and put him in a typical private preschool. He is doing amazing. I know he is behind his peers in what they are learning, but he is learning. He is gaining so much from his classmates and his teachers. He has a great support system there. I know he would not be doing as well if we had decided to keep him in the public school.

In addition to sending him to preschool, we have the ESA (Empowerment Scholarship Award) to use for his education. I decided to get a ton of things for us to use at home to allow me to do some home school preschool with him. I have so many of the same resources available at home that they use with him at school. It is wonderful to be able to reinforce his learning at home. I try to spend a little bit of time everyday doing something with him. And do a bit more on Fridays, Saturdays & Sundays. I am always looking for new resources to get for us to use at home. Things that target his current goals in ABA, speech and school. Right now our big struggle is colors. He is just not grasping colors. So I have been doing a ton to help him work on knowing his colors.

Overall, I can not express enough how proud I am with Marshmallow. He constantly surprises me with new skills. It is amazing to see.

Zoo Adventures

We love going to zoos. Even before kids, we enjoyed going to different zoos. I can not even tell you how many zoo trips we have done in the nearly 4 years of Marshmallow's life. I even had a zoo membership in 2014. So we have gone A LOT.

We had the opportunity to go to the zoo for free yesterday, as part of a special needs day they were hosting. I could not turn down the opportunity to get out of the house and have an adventure with both boys. So to the zoo we went.

Marshmallow went to the zoo for the first time yesterday! Crazy statement right, since I just said we have gone numerous times. Well, today is the first time he was aware he was at the zoo! The first time he got it. The first time he knew he was going to see animals, and really the first time he could label each of the animals. Or even cared that we were looking at animals, or at the zoo in general. He was so excited about being at the zoo. 

I mentioned the zoo several times to him in the last week, and told him that we would be going on Saturday. He was playing a ton this week with his Little People Zoo, which was perfect. I told him Friday night that in the morning we would be going to the zoo and that we would get to see all the animals. I said it several times and asked him where we were going. He told me to the zoo. I asked him what animal he wants to see and he told me monkey. I am actually FINALLY having a real conversation with my son. I can not even begin to tell you how I feel about this. It is AMAZING. 

So yesterday was the first time Marshmallow really went to the zoo. The first animal we went to see was the zebras. We got close to the fence and I asked him what animal do you see? He told me "zebras" and his face lit up with excitement. We walked around the zoo today looking at all the animals. He told me what most of them were and pointed so many of them out. He seemed to have a ton of fun. His favorite part was visiting the farm section. They have a play area there and a petting area with goats. Also with a couple tractors to climb on and a pretend cow with utters you can milk. He had an absolute blast. And yes we did get to see many monkeys through out our day.

It was an awesome trip to the zoo! I made sure to take plenty of pictures to document our adventure. I can not wait to go back and visit again.

Checking out the desert tortoise.

Climbed up into the giant clam shell.

Milking the cow.

Decided to ride the dragon on the carousel. 

Sounding his trumpet while watching the elephant.

Playing in the farm playground.

Bushing a goat in the petting zoo area.

Watching the big monkey up close and personal.

He was all about the map. My tour guide for the day.

Seeing where we were going next.

Showing me the way.

Tractor fun! 

Looking at the turtles in the water. We counted them together.

Watching the warthogs.