It is official. We received the finalized paperwork with the ASD diagnosis for Marshmallow on Monday. The first step is done, in what appears will be an on-going process of steps to be done. But this is the first step of many and this will take us in the direction we need to go. Getting these 13 pages makes everything real and happening. It is a bit overwhelming to see on paper everything written out. It feels good to have proof I was not crazy in pursuing this all. To know I was not "just making things up about my son." I was not being ridiculous in my concerns. My mommy gut was dead on. I have the validation that are reasons for his behavior, and they are deeper than "he is just a toddler, that is what toddlers do." I finally have in writing answers to my initial questions about Marshmallow, and now I can really look for resources to help him flourish. Now that we know, we can do better as parents with all of this and become a better support for our son! As scary as the road ahead looks, because it is a road unknown, I am so happy to finally have in writing answers to so many of the questions I have had for the last 8 months, and looking back even longer. I see all the signs now, things that were there even when he was just a tiny infant. Now it all makes sense. And now I finally have the beginnings of a plan of action to take for our Marshmallow!
Where does this leave me?
Now with having the official paperwork we can pursue other resources to get Marshmallow help. We can apply for various services. Currently, the two things that have been talked with me to do soon are to apply for Division of Developmental Disability (DDD) services and also apply for the Empowerment Scholarship for Marshmallow. I do not know much about either, so will be working on figuring those out quickly. I need to get the scholarship application in by end of March, so that is a priority at the moment. I will be attending an informational meeting in a couple weeks to learn more about the scholarship, but I want to have the application hopefully filled out before then. So I am not submitting at the deadline.
This Friday, I have the IEP (Individualized Education Program) meeting with the preschool for Marshmallow. So, just waiting on that and hopefully he will be set to start preschool Monday! Which I am still feeling a ton of mixed emotions about.
The ABA therapy process is moving along, just waiting for his plan to get approved and a schedule made. Then we should be able to begin the pairing sessions to make sure Marshmallow clicks well with the therapist.
I am also starting to hunt around to figure out possible other options for preschool in the fall. I just am not sure that our school district really offers the best solution for Marshmallow, so want to learn what other options we may have available to us. I am also trying to figure out possible options for this summer, while school is out of session. Something to fill that gap each day to keep the hours of intervention where they need to be for him.
Personally, I am overwhelmed as I try to navigate everything. I am learning as we go along. My knowledge on everything is so little right now and I have a lot to learn and figure out. I am slowly meeting other families with children similar ages and in our area, and that has been a huge help. I have joined a few groups to be able to connect with other parents as well, and to be able to get some guidance. But ultimately, there is so much going on at once and I have had very little time to be able to breath and just let it all sink it. I know that I have to keep plowing through everything, as do not want to miss opportunities for our little guy. So I am just pretty overwhelmed with trying to take everything in, while trying to really understand everything at the same time.
I am worried about a billion and one things. With my main concern being how our new little guy, Skywalker, is going to fit into this crazy life. How is that change going to pan out for our family? Am I going to have the support I need when being pulled in 15 directions in just over 2 months? Thankfully, we are having family come out for a combined total of 8 weeks to stay with us, but I am nervous of how all this change is going to affect Marshmallow and how it is going to affect me. I am overwhelmed with all of this. But even just growing our family from 3 to 4, while exciting, has challenges in itself. All this with Marshmallow is just a sugar coating to our life. I am hoping that Marshmallow adjusts well in the next couple months and gets into a steady routine. I just am nervous how he is going to react to such a HUGE change in our lives, along with having added people in our home for a couple months.
And to answer THE question that everyone seems to have for me. "Is Marshmallow excited about being a big brother? Does he know?" NO. Marshmallow has no clue he is becoming a big brother and it is not for lack of trying to tell him. He has no understanding that our family is growing. He just has not been able to grasp the concept and does not understand what we are trying to tell him. This is one of the things that we are hoping to have help with him learning in the next couple months, so the transition will be a little smoother, hopefully. So NO he does not know and because he does not know, he is not excited about being a big brother. Which in itself is hard. I see friends who have children younger, who are pregnant or recently had their new additions and all their big siblings are able to grasp this concept and are so excited. Yes, I am jealous. I want our son to be able to have that too. So it is hard to see others have that added excitement as their families grow, where for me it just adds a layer of worry and frustration. I have tried to step back since we started the journey with his speech delay to be excited for our friends and family as we see their children hit milestones, but it is hard as I want so badly for Marshmallow to be there too. I am so excited for our growing family, but there is so much I worry about. But I am trying to not worry. So anyhow, I know this question is harmless when people ask, as no different than asking how far along, or boy/girl, or the billion of other questions people have for pregnant moms. But the truth is it makes me cringe every time. I never know how to answer without feeling like my son is being judged. I want to be able to say he knows and he is so excited about having a new side kick soon. Or even be able to share a funny story of how he is not excited and how he has expressed that. But I just laugh saying "he will learn one way or another. He will have to figure it out when baby brother comes home and does not leave." And scamper away before the conversation continues. Personally, I just hope we are able to help Marshmallow adjust to the idea, before it actually happens.
So this is pretty much where I am left currently. We have step one checked off our growing list. But this step gave us answers, which is the most important step of all. It gives us a starting point for the best ways to support our son. So our journey continues.
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Saving Money : Grocery Bill Part Two
Link to Saving Money : Grocery Bill Part One
This part of my budget planning is a bit more complicated and takes a bit of time for me to put together each month. But again, all of it is worth it for our family, as it gets our food budget down to where we want it to be! Which again is $400 per month for our family of 3 (two adult, a toddler and two dogs). Our food budget does include more than just food, it includes things like toiletries, dog food, paper goods, cleaning supplies, and more.
It all starts with meal planning. I am still learning this and how to do it most effectively. I need to get more consistent about it, as well. But this is the back bone to how we really save money with our monthly shopping trip. I sit down each month and plan it all out. I make a list of meals. I try to ask for input from C and he is usually helpful. So this month I came up with 19 dinners. I save each recipe either on a bookmark tab on my computer or have them pulled out from my recipe cards. I then make an Excel spreadsheet. Yes, I am a nerd. I do it all on my computer. I map out ingredients needed for each meal and figure out what we need for every meal, plus lunches and breakfast foods. I then am able to see what we have verses what we need to buy. I am also then able to plan out exact amounts needed to purchase. Below you can see an image of what that looks like and what I bring to the store with me for my shopping trip. I will add all the extras to this list as well, but this is the food list.
Sunday, I went to the grocery store. Well, Walmart. And though I am not the biggest fan of Walmart, I use them for a very specific reason. I get my groceries cheaper there and can make our budget happen. I do use Fry's for weekly trips to fill in needs though. I have split my trips between Fry's and Walmart in the past. It just takes a bit more planning and work for me to figure that out. So yesterday, I went and did my grocery shopping. I left the store spending $355.93. One month of groceries. The receipt says I purchase 113 items. I do have a few things to pick up and fill in as our month progresses. But this is the BULK of our meals for the month and other essential items too.
I shop at Walmart because I can price match there. This is how I save a bunch on our shopping bill. I find the best deals and price match them at Walmart, instead of driving to 5 different stores for our shopping. I do end up doing some, if a needed item it not able to be price matched or found at Walmart. So, on Tuesdays/Wednesday I sit down with my ads that come in our mail and write out my list. I put it in yet another Excel spreadsheet. I put the item, how much per unit, store and shopping category (this is for ease of shopping, as I sort the list when I done using this). I then go online and pull up a couple of awesome blogs and compare my lists to make sure I did not miss anything. (http://www.pricematcherz.com/phoenix/ , http://www.thecentsableshoppin.com/category/weekly-round-up/) The reason, I do mine first is that neither of these are specific to the area we live, just for the general Phoenix area, so I have a couple ads for stores that they do not have on their list. I also check theirs because they have some stores that I do not get I ads for in the mail. So makes it easier. Just gives me a more complete list. I do not list everything, just the items I am likely to buy because they are on sale and a great deal or the items on my grocery list. I usually like to go shopping earlier in the week, as some stores have deals specific to Wednesdays or Fridays. Those are the items I may choose to leave out in our BIG shopping trip and pick up week by week. A lot of them are produce related. When I do my list I also have a column that I put what day that sale price is good for, if it is one that is limited to certain days. The last column that I add, if I have time, is to star any that I may also have a coupon for and get bonus savings on by purchasing now. I do not always have the time to do this, but I do try as this does help save some time in the store. Below you can see how my list from Sunday's trip looks.
The third part of my system is coupons. And no, I am not a crazy couponer. I just do not have the time or desire to be one. I also find couponing frustrating and hard when approached in an extreme manner. First for us, we just do not eat or need most of the foods that coupons are available for. I really do mainly homemade in our house. The worst in our pantry is probably Kraft Mac & Cheese. In our freezer, probably chicken nuggets for Marshmallow (since it is one of the foods he will eat that is meat). So coupons in general and that approach, while you save a ton of money, would be a waste for our family. I clip the coupons we use. I will pull things that we have the potential to purchase, or have purchased in the past. We no longer get the Sunday paper with the ads, so I use a few couponing websites to print off coupons to use. Along with the ones that come in the mail on Wednesdays. I usually save an extra $15-20 on our grocery bill by using coupons. Every dollar helps.
This is my personal approach to cutting down our food budget, while not actually taking away food we enjoy or limiting meals we eat. I am still learning. But meal planning is key. This month I decided to do one big trip, but other months I do two shopping trips where I plan for those 2 weeks instead of a full month. Having a plan when shopping is needed and absolutely key to keeping on a budget. If you just show up to the store, you will walk away with more than you planned and likely spend more than you planned as well. For a while, I would also use my calculator (or bring my computer) on the shopping trip to enter in amounts and track money as we went along. This made it so I could NOT go over budget and see where I had to make cuts. I also recommend using cash. This again makes it so you can not overspend. I was loading the belt with the non-necessities at the end of the check out, to be prepared to take items away if was going to run over budget. You only have so much on you, so you can not just swipe your card and go, so you have to have to be ready. Figure out your plan before you enter the store! Again these are things that are working for us, but does not mean it will be the best approach for everyone. Good luck!
This part of my budget planning is a bit more complicated and takes a bit of time for me to put together each month. But again, all of it is worth it for our family, as it gets our food budget down to where we want it to be! Which again is $400 per month for our family of 3 (two adult, a toddler and two dogs). Our food budget does include more than just food, it includes things like toiletries, dog food, paper goods, cleaning supplies, and more.
It all starts with meal planning. I am still learning this and how to do it most effectively. I need to get more consistent about it, as well. But this is the back bone to how we really save money with our monthly shopping trip. I sit down each month and plan it all out. I make a list of meals. I try to ask for input from C and he is usually helpful. So this month I came up with 19 dinners. I save each recipe either on a bookmark tab on my computer or have them pulled out from my recipe cards. I then make an Excel spreadsheet. Yes, I am a nerd. I do it all on my computer. I map out ingredients needed for each meal and figure out what we need for every meal, plus lunches and breakfast foods. I then am able to see what we have verses what we need to buy. I am also then able to plan out exact amounts needed to purchase. Below you can see an image of what that looks like and what I bring to the store with me for my shopping trip. I will add all the extras to this list as well, but this is the food list.
Sunday, I went to the grocery store. Well, Walmart. And though I am not the biggest fan of Walmart, I use them for a very specific reason. I get my groceries cheaper there and can make our budget happen. I do use Fry's for weekly trips to fill in needs though. I have split my trips between Fry's and Walmart in the past. It just takes a bit more planning and work for me to figure that out. So yesterday, I went and did my grocery shopping. I left the store spending $355.93. One month of groceries. The receipt says I purchase 113 items. I do have a few things to pick up and fill in as our month progresses. But this is the BULK of our meals for the month and other essential items too.
I shop at Walmart because I can price match there. This is how I save a bunch on our shopping bill. I find the best deals and price match them at Walmart, instead of driving to 5 different stores for our shopping. I do end up doing some, if a needed item it not able to be price matched or found at Walmart. So, on Tuesdays/Wednesday I sit down with my ads that come in our mail and write out my list. I put it in yet another Excel spreadsheet. I put the item, how much per unit, store and shopping category (this is for ease of shopping, as I sort the list when I done using this). I then go online and pull up a couple of awesome blogs and compare my lists to make sure I did not miss anything. (http://www.pricematcherz.com/phoenix/ , http://www.thecentsableshoppin.com/category/weekly-round-up/) The reason, I do mine first is that neither of these are specific to the area we live, just for the general Phoenix area, so I have a couple ads for stores that they do not have on their list. I also check theirs because they have some stores that I do not get I ads for in the mail. So makes it easier. Just gives me a more complete list. I do not list everything, just the items I am likely to buy because they are on sale and a great deal or the items on my grocery list. I usually like to go shopping earlier in the week, as some stores have deals specific to Wednesdays or Fridays. Those are the items I may choose to leave out in our BIG shopping trip and pick up week by week. A lot of them are produce related. When I do my list I also have a column that I put what day that sale price is good for, if it is one that is limited to certain days. The last column that I add, if I have time, is to star any that I may also have a coupon for and get bonus savings on by purchasing now. I do not always have the time to do this, but I do try as this does help save some time in the store. Below you can see how my list from Sunday's trip looks.
The third part of my system is coupons. And no, I am not a crazy couponer. I just do not have the time or desire to be one. I also find couponing frustrating and hard when approached in an extreme manner. First for us, we just do not eat or need most of the foods that coupons are available for. I really do mainly homemade in our house. The worst in our pantry is probably Kraft Mac & Cheese. In our freezer, probably chicken nuggets for Marshmallow (since it is one of the foods he will eat that is meat). So coupons in general and that approach, while you save a ton of money, would be a waste for our family. I clip the coupons we use. I will pull things that we have the potential to purchase, or have purchased in the past. We no longer get the Sunday paper with the ads, so I use a few couponing websites to print off coupons to use. Along with the ones that come in the mail on Wednesdays. I usually save an extra $15-20 on our grocery bill by using coupons. Every dollar helps.
This is my personal approach to cutting down our food budget, while not actually taking away food we enjoy or limiting meals we eat. I am still learning. But meal planning is key. This month I decided to do one big trip, but other months I do two shopping trips where I plan for those 2 weeks instead of a full month. Having a plan when shopping is needed and absolutely key to keeping on a budget. If you just show up to the store, you will walk away with more than you planned and likely spend more than you planned as well. For a while, I would also use my calculator (or bring my computer) on the shopping trip to enter in amounts and track money as we went along. This made it so I could NOT go over budget and see where I had to make cuts. I also recommend using cash. This again makes it so you can not overspend. I was loading the belt with the non-necessities at the end of the check out, to be prepared to take items away if was going to run over budget. You only have so much on you, so you can not just swipe your card and go, so you have to have to be ready. Figure out your plan before you enter the store! Again these are things that are working for us, but does not mean it will be the best approach for everyone. Good luck!
Monday, February 23, 2015
Saving Money : Grocery Bill Part One
We, like most families, live on a budget. A tight one at that. We are working on paying off our debts and getting to a place where we can be more financially secure. In order to get there, we are taking control of our finances and live on very little from month to month. Most of our money each month goes to various bills and debts. It is worth the sacrifice now, to have those goals met in hopefully the years to come.
One of the biggest areas we were spending was in the food category. Looking back it was crazy how much we were spending on food for a month, especially for two adult and a toddler (and 2 dogs). Looking at our spending history really made me started to think about how we were spending our money and ultimately find ways to cut back.
When taking a look at our receipts, I was able to see where most of our food budget went. The areas that killed us were produce and meat. Both are essential to our diet and, of course, cost the most of anything we purchased each month. So that is where I began.
How do I cut back on these areas, without ACTUALLY cutting back? Since this is the backbone of our diet. How do I save money, while still getting these essential items for my family. And it was not going to be replacing fresh with canned, I can tell you that. I started to do some research and took note of what friends around me were doing. I soon learned there are a ton of ways to save. And while it may take a little work to get organized and not always the most convenient ways to go about saving us money, it is worth it for my family.
For our family of 3, we keep our budget at under $400 a month. This includes things like paper goods, dog food, toiletries, diapers/wipes. Pretty much anything I buy at stores like Frys, Safeway, Target or Walmart. So basically $100 a week for our family to live on. It takes a little work, and I am still learning, but it is very doable.
Thankfully, here in Arizona we have some great resources to help cut food bills down some. This past Saturday, I managed to get all this food for $20! Just meant waking up, leaving my house by 6:30 am with Marshmallow in tow and having the powerful knowledge of where to go!
Produce On Wheels - With Out Waste
The top image is what I got from an organization called Produce On Wheels - With Out Waste. They do locations in the Phoenix and Tuscon areas every Saturday. The locations move around these areas, so there are lots to pick from over the course of a month. They start at 8am and I would encourage you to get there early. Though I have had no trouble when arriving after 10am before. But it is first come, first serve. Basically, for $10 you get about 60lbs of produce. The assortment changes each week, but usually about 6 different fruits/vegetables are given. This past Saturday I left with bread, cucumbers, mini bell peppers, colored peppers, green beans, squash, zucchini, butternut squash, tangerines, Anaheim peppers and roma tomatoes. You can find more information about locations on their website Produce on Wheels or on their Facebook page Facebook Produce on Wheels
*First Saturday of each month is hosted by Real Life Ministries in Surprise, AZ. $10. Here is their website for more information Real Life Ministries - MASH.
Market On the Move
As you can see, it is a lot of food at once. Most produce goes bad very quickly, if not used within several days. So, last year when I first found some of these, I began an adventure in learning how to preserve food by either canning or freezing whatever I could. Slowly, I began to fill my pantry and it began to look like the picture below. And our chest freezer is always full of vegetables! I plan meals to include foods we already have in our pantry and freezer. I also use a lot of the fresh stuff in the first few days as well. Make our meals around those.
One of the biggest areas we were spending was in the food category. Looking back it was crazy how much we were spending on food for a month, especially for two adult and a toddler (and 2 dogs). Looking at our spending history really made me started to think about how we were spending our money and ultimately find ways to cut back.
When taking a look at our receipts, I was able to see where most of our food budget went. The areas that killed us were produce and meat. Both are essential to our diet and, of course, cost the most of anything we purchased each month. So that is where I began.
How do I cut back on these areas, without ACTUALLY cutting back? Since this is the backbone of our diet. How do I save money, while still getting these essential items for my family. And it was not going to be replacing fresh with canned, I can tell you that. I started to do some research and took note of what friends around me were doing. I soon learned there are a ton of ways to save. And while it may take a little work to get organized and not always the most convenient ways to go about saving us money, it is worth it for my family.
For our family of 3, we keep our budget at under $400 a month. This includes things like paper goods, dog food, toiletries, diapers/wipes. Pretty much anything I buy at stores like Frys, Safeway, Target or Walmart. So basically $100 a week for our family to live on. It takes a little work, and I am still learning, but it is very doable.
Thankfully, here in Arizona we have some great resources to help cut food bills down some. This past Saturday, I managed to get all this food for $20! Just meant waking up, leaving my house by 6:30 am with Marshmallow in tow and having the powerful knowledge of where to go!
So, how did I possibly manage that? There are several organizations that host food distribution sites on Saturdays each month. I went to different ones and spent $10 at each.
Produce On Wheels - With Out Waste
The top image is what I got from an organization called Produce On Wheels - With Out Waste. They do locations in the Phoenix and Tuscon areas every Saturday. The locations move around these areas, so there are lots to pick from over the course of a month. They start at 8am and I would encourage you to get there early. Though I have had no trouble when arriving after 10am before. But it is first come, first serve. Basically, for $10 you get about 60lbs of produce. The assortment changes each week, but usually about 6 different fruits/vegetables are given. This past Saturday I left with bread, cucumbers, mini bell peppers, colored peppers, green beans, squash, zucchini, butternut squash, tangerines, Anaheim peppers and roma tomatoes. You can find more information about locations on their website Produce on Wheels or on their Facebook page Facebook Produce on Wheels
Miracles Are Still Happening Food Distribution
The bottom image is what I picked up from an organization called Miracles Are Still Happening (MASH) Food Distribution. They do two locations that I know for sure about and have now been to. They also have a possible third location. This month that third location is not hosting. I contacted them and they responded saying to contact during the week prior for next month to see if they are hosting in March. These are set locations and each is only available on a certain Saturday each month. It is $10 or $5 depending which you go to. Doors open at 7am. So with this program it is also first come, first serve. It is really important to show early for this program. I got there this past week at about 6:40am and was towards the back of the line. We still left with a bunch of food, but the supply dwindles as the morning passes. So we left with less than those who arrived early. Still worth $10, an early morning and being there for about 2 hours. Again, this is where convenience may not always play in my favor, but worth it! This Saturday I left with blueberries, strawberries, grapes, chips, potatoes, mangoes, tomatillos, tomatoes, cauliflower, avocados, nectarines and a package of meat. *First Saturday of each month is hosted by Real Life Ministries in Surprise, AZ. $10. Here is their website for more information Real Life Ministries - MASH.
*Third Saturday of each month is hosted by Citrus Road Nazarene Church in Goodyear, AZ. $10 Here is the link to their website for more information Citrus Road Nazarene - MASH
*Fourth Saturday of each month is hosted by West Valley Family Church in Glendale, AZ. This is the one I have not confirmed and is not running for February 28th. $5. For more information here is a link to their website West Valley Family Church - MASH
Market On the Move
Another program I also have used in the past is Market On the Move (MOM). This is another program that is available in both Tuscon and Phoenix. The locations change Saturday to Saturday and they sometimes offer something mid-week. This is an example of what I got last year. I did not max out the amounts at the time, so I could have left with more than I did. You receive up to 60lbs of produce with the $10 donation. As shown in the photo above, I left with grape tomatoes, beef steak tomatoes, roma tomatoes, colored peppers, zucchini squash and spaghetti squash. They are again a first come, first serve. But I have had luck going towards the end of the time frame. You can find out more information at their website Market On the Move.
Bountiful Baskets (this is not limited to Arizona, check the website to see if available in your area)
The last program I have personally used is Bountiful Baskets, which is a food co-op. So this one you do not just show up and give a donation. Each week they post the offerings on Monday on their website and they are available to participate in until Tuesday. Each pick-up site is available weekly or every other week, just depends on that specific location. Pick-ups are mainly scheduled for Saturdays and each site has a specific pick-up time (there are some sites that do other days). You never know what will be in the basket from week to week. But you can also add on additional packs as well. Those they tell you what you can expect to get. I have also done meat with them as well, though those opportunities pop up infrequently. As you can see we got a decent amount of food. Pictured is bananas, mangoes, mini peppers, colored carrots, roma tomatoes, coconuts, watermelon, artichokes, pears, and more. The basket buy-in is $15, which you pay when you sign up on Monday or Tuesday. You can upgrade to an organic basket for an extra $10, so $25. Then you can add-on any extras. They always have a ton of extra options to add-on. Visit their website for more information on how to participate and sign-up Bountiful Baskets.
As you can see, it is a lot of food at once. Most produce goes bad very quickly, if not used within several days. So, last year when I first found some of these, I began an adventure in learning how to preserve food by either canning or freezing whatever I could. Slowly, I began to fill my pantry and it began to look like the picture below. And our chest freezer is always full of vegetables! I plan meals to include foods we already have in our pantry and freezer. I also use a lot of the fresh stuff in the first few days as well. Make our meals around those.
This is one way I have learned to help cut back on our food budget and fill our fridge for very little money. 3 packages of strawberries alone would cost me $10 at the store. Where I got that plus a whole lot more for $10. Just about finding options available around you. I am sure there are more options like these in my area and I just have not learned about them yet.
Check out Part Two of this post for how I plan out my monthly shopping trip to make the most of every dollar spent. Saving Money : Grocery Bill Part Two
Friday, February 20, 2015
Getting Answers
Last week, we finally had our feedback meeting to discuss the findings and recommendations that came out of Marshmallows ASD evaluation we had back in December. This was the first time C was able to hear all of this first hand, instead of second hand from me. It was good for both of us to have it all discussed in detail and to hear what some more next steps will be in this process. Overall, it was a very good meeting and I am very happy to be one more step along in this journey.
Basically, Marshmallow falls mildly on the spectrum for ASD. Under the old terms of diagnosing, Marshmallow has moderately low autism. So what does this all mean? Honestly, we are still figuring this all out ourselves. For now, it just means that the way Marshmallow processes things is different than the way his peers process the same things. Things will impact and effect him differently. Our goal is that with intense early intervention, we can help Marshmallow to learn how to process these things and get to a place where they no longer effect him in an extreme way. So he can be a well adjusted child, just like any of his peers, hopefully by the time he enters kindergarten. He will just have to be taught things, that otherwise would come naturally to his peers. In the same way, we are teaching him to talk and communicate.
Right now, we have the draft of his assessment. She does not want to finalize the paperwork until after she sees the evaluations from the preschool. As she may want to include some of their findings in the assessment as well. But everything else is moving forward while we wait for her to finalize the assessment.
We also had the second part of the evaluation for the ABA therapy last week. She came out and spent some time with Marshmallow to get a feel for where all his skill levels fall and where he is developmentally. She worked on his plan for therapy this past weekend and got that submitted to her supervisor for review. We should hear back soon from her to go over the plan and learn what ABA therapy will exactly look like for Marshmallow. She told me that they already had a therapist paired for Marshmallow. So just waiting for the green light.
The next steps will be to do a few meet and greets with the therapist to make sure Marshmallow responds well to him. Yes, as of right now they have a male therapist lined up for him. I am very excited about this, as Marshmallow has yet to work with a male therapist for anything, but he has always preferred men to women in everyday interactions. So hoping this pairing will work out well and curious to see if he will respond better to a male. They will meet and see if this is a good match, over a couple meetings. We want to make sure Marshmallow connects with him, that he responds well to him and that he is comfortable with him. If it is not a good match, they will try again with a different therapist, until a good match is found. So this process is moving along nice and quick. We will hopefully get this all in place and started by the beginning of March.
Today, I had was the follow-up meeting with the preschool to go over the findings in each of the several evaluations that they did on Marshmallow. I got a call from the speech therapist that did his evaluation this morning, as she was not going to be at the school today for our meeting. She still wanted to go over her part with me, so I knew what she had to add. Basically she told me that on a scale where 90-110 is average, Marshmallow scored a 62 for expressive communication, 53 for auditory comprehension and 54 for his total language. He is severely delayed for speech. Again. this is no surprise to me. She told me that for her IEP recommendation she is requesting for Marshmallow to receive 45 minutes of speech therapy each week, with the goals being for him to be able to follow one step directions 80% of the time and for him to be able to use one word phrases 80% of the time in identifying needs/wants/ect and to begin working towards 2 word combinations. Which are two of his goals in his current speech therapy. So she her finding are pretty much right in line with where we are in speech therapy currently. She told me we will have one more meeting to go over his entire IEP, but wanted to share her part with me now, as she is only at the school one day a week and most likely will not be at that meeting as well.
The meeting at the school went as expected. Both of the other evaluators were present, along with the head of the school and the lead for special education. The Occupational Therapist (OT) had nothing but great things to share about Marshmallow. She was very impressed with his ability in using age appropriate tools, such as scissors. Something we have never even let him touch, and he was able to use with no issues after being shown how to do it. She does want to continue to follow him in the years to come, to make sure that he does not begin to show a delay at any point in time as the skill level progresses. Just as a precaution. All things we knew, as he is our little engineer. The psychologist who evaluated Marshmallow said that in addition to speech, he also showed severe delays in the social, self-help/adaptive and cognitive areas. Again, nothing we were not already aware of. So they will be working on various things with him in the preschool setting to help in each of these areas.
The next step is meeting for the IEP review. I have that set for next Friday. This will be the breakdown of what exact services that will be provided for Marshmallow while he is at school. After that he will be done this crazy long process and able to start preschool! So the hope is that he will begin preschool on March 2nd. Which will give him just over 10 weeks of school, before the end of the school year. Not quite as many weeks as long as the process took to get him enrolled, which will be 11.5 week from when he had his first evaluation in December.
But yes, all fingers and toes are crossed his first day of school will be March 2nd. I am both super excited and absolutely terrified. This will be the first time my baby will not be at home with me, all day, everyday. He also has the opportunity to ride the bus to and from school, which I am very nervous about as well. Not sure yet, if we are ready to take that leap yet, or not. We will have to decide what we want to do. It is scary, my little Marshmallow is growing up and I am nervous about not being there every step of the way. But it is time. Whether I am ready or not.
Basically, Marshmallow falls mildly on the spectrum for ASD. Under the old terms of diagnosing, Marshmallow has moderately low autism. So what does this all mean? Honestly, we are still figuring this all out ourselves. For now, it just means that the way Marshmallow processes things is different than the way his peers process the same things. Things will impact and effect him differently. Our goal is that with intense early intervention, we can help Marshmallow to learn how to process these things and get to a place where they no longer effect him in an extreme way. So he can be a well adjusted child, just like any of his peers, hopefully by the time he enters kindergarten. He will just have to be taught things, that otherwise would come naturally to his peers. In the same way, we are teaching him to talk and communicate.
Right now, we have the draft of his assessment. She does not want to finalize the paperwork until after she sees the evaluations from the preschool. As she may want to include some of their findings in the assessment as well. But everything else is moving forward while we wait for her to finalize the assessment.
We also had the second part of the evaluation for the ABA therapy last week. She came out and spent some time with Marshmallow to get a feel for where all his skill levels fall and where he is developmentally. She worked on his plan for therapy this past weekend and got that submitted to her supervisor for review. We should hear back soon from her to go over the plan and learn what ABA therapy will exactly look like for Marshmallow. She told me that they already had a therapist paired for Marshmallow. So just waiting for the green light.
The next steps will be to do a few meet and greets with the therapist to make sure Marshmallow responds well to him. Yes, as of right now they have a male therapist lined up for him. I am very excited about this, as Marshmallow has yet to work with a male therapist for anything, but he has always preferred men to women in everyday interactions. So hoping this pairing will work out well and curious to see if he will respond better to a male. They will meet and see if this is a good match, over a couple meetings. We want to make sure Marshmallow connects with him, that he responds well to him and that he is comfortable with him. If it is not a good match, they will try again with a different therapist, until a good match is found. So this process is moving along nice and quick. We will hopefully get this all in place and started by the beginning of March.
Today, I had was the follow-up meeting with the preschool to go over the findings in each of the several evaluations that they did on Marshmallow. I got a call from the speech therapist that did his evaluation this morning, as she was not going to be at the school today for our meeting. She still wanted to go over her part with me, so I knew what she had to add. Basically she told me that on a scale where 90-110 is average, Marshmallow scored a 62 for expressive communication, 53 for auditory comprehension and 54 for his total language. He is severely delayed for speech. Again. this is no surprise to me. She told me that for her IEP recommendation she is requesting for Marshmallow to receive 45 minutes of speech therapy each week, with the goals being for him to be able to follow one step directions 80% of the time and for him to be able to use one word phrases 80% of the time in identifying needs/wants/ect and to begin working towards 2 word combinations. Which are two of his goals in his current speech therapy. So she her finding are pretty much right in line with where we are in speech therapy currently. She told me we will have one more meeting to go over his entire IEP, but wanted to share her part with me now, as she is only at the school one day a week and most likely will not be at that meeting as well.
The meeting at the school went as expected. Both of the other evaluators were present, along with the head of the school and the lead for special education. The Occupational Therapist (OT) had nothing but great things to share about Marshmallow. She was very impressed with his ability in using age appropriate tools, such as scissors. Something we have never even let him touch, and he was able to use with no issues after being shown how to do it. She does want to continue to follow him in the years to come, to make sure that he does not begin to show a delay at any point in time as the skill level progresses. Just as a precaution. All things we knew, as he is our little engineer. The psychologist who evaluated Marshmallow said that in addition to speech, he also showed severe delays in the social, self-help/adaptive and cognitive areas. Again, nothing we were not already aware of. So they will be working on various things with him in the preschool setting to help in each of these areas.
The next step is meeting for the IEP review. I have that set for next Friday. This will be the breakdown of what exact services that will be provided for Marshmallow while he is at school. After that he will be done this crazy long process and able to start preschool! So the hope is that he will begin preschool on March 2nd. Which will give him just over 10 weeks of school, before the end of the school year. Not quite as many weeks as long as the process took to get him enrolled, which will be 11.5 week from when he had his first evaluation in December.
But yes, all fingers and toes are crossed his first day of school will be March 2nd. I am both super excited and absolutely terrified. This will be the first time my baby will not be at home with me, all day, everyday. He also has the opportunity to ride the bus to and from school, which I am very nervous about as well. Not sure yet, if we are ready to take that leap yet, or not. We will have to decide what we want to do. It is scary, my little Marshmallow is growing up and I am nervous about not being there every step of the way. But it is time. Whether I am ready or not.
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Back-Up Coming Soon
12 weeks! So hard to believe that in twelve weeks we will no longer be a family of three, but a family of four. Time is flying by. But here we are. I am 28 weeks and feeling Skywalker (this is just a nickname, not name of baby boy) dance around my belly. I am to every two week check-ups now and starting to get really get the things we need gathered. I feel like the clock is ticking by fast, and he will be here before we know it.
Yet, it feels like yesterday that I surprised C that we were expecting our new addition, little Skywalker. Yes, I had the whole thing planned out and wanted to make the announcement special for him. I just blurted it out with Marshmallow and wanted to do something fun this time around. Pretty much from the time we decided we were ready to grow our family again, I had this idea figured out in my head. So how did it go down?
After confirming all was in place for the surprise, I told C that Sam and I were taking him out for a surprise on Sunday night. So for two days, he kept asking what we were doing. I told him he will see. He thought I was taking him to dinner, so was surprised when I asked him if he wanted to eat before or after my plans. He said before and suggested sushi. So I located an awesome hole in the wall sushi place near my surprise location and we enjoyed a meal with Marshmallow. Marshmallow shocked us both when he quickly picked up how to use chopsticks! What a neat addition to our evening out.
After dinner we headed to my surprise meeting spot. He again was really confused because we parked to meet someone else. I tell C to follow her. Once we get out of the car, I open the trunk for him. Something I told him not to open as it contained part of the surprise. When he saw what was in the trunk he was only more confused. She opens hers. In our trunk, I have our police pedal car, the little uniform I made Mashmallow out of an old uniform, and C's uniform hat. Her trunk had a fire truck pedal car. C was so confused. At this point I take C aside. I tell him we are taking a few pictures of Marshmallow. I hand him a plastic bag with the positive pregnancy tests. Thankfully, the digital still showed "pregnant". While he was figuring out what I just handed him, I pull out the signs I made. I tell him, we are here to do a photo shoot with Marshmallow to announce that we are expecting!
His first reaction was "did you get an appointment yet?" Which is the same exact reaction as he had with Marshmallow. To which I told him I had already got one set up. Then I think he was just shocked. Well, shocked and excited. The photographer and I got my idea all set up and did the pictures, while C was just in disbelief!
I had this planned for a while. Back when I first thought of the idea, I asked in a couple facebook groups if anyone had a fire truck pedal car for sale or that I could eventually borrow. The person that replied turned out to be a photographer who used the pedal car as prop. Just my luck! When I told her what I was planning and not really sure when we would need it, just that I wanted to be ready. She immediately offered to do the pictures as as mini-mini session for me for a very reasonable rate. She loved my idea and did not want to miss out on shooting it. So, I ended up messaging her the day I got the positive test result and we got the shoot planned out and set up for 2 days later! So we got it all pulled together very quickly and I got the signs created quickly without C seeing what I was doing.
I wanted to play on that we are first responder family, C is an officer and I was a firefighter. Obviously, the stereotype of cops and donuts had to be included and helped to get Marshmallow to cooperate during the shoot. The signs play on the comment C always says to me, that fire does nothing but stage. That it takes them forever to actually get on-scene, hence the 9 months of staging. The photographer made my vision come to life and so grateful for this beautiful memory captured in a photograph. I absolutely love the end result!
So here we are now nearly 28 weeks from when this picture was taken and only 12 weeks left to go! And I can not wait. I am very excited for our family to grow!
You can visit this photographer's work at http://mackiejeanphoto.com/. She was awesome to work with and I would most certainly do more pictures with her in the future!
Yet, it feels like yesterday that I surprised C that we were expecting our new addition, little Skywalker. Yes, I had the whole thing planned out and wanted to make the announcement special for him. I just blurted it out with Marshmallow and wanted to do something fun this time around. Pretty much from the time we decided we were ready to grow our family again, I had this idea figured out in my head. So how did it go down?
After confirming all was in place for the surprise, I told C that Sam and I were taking him out for a surprise on Sunday night. So for two days, he kept asking what we were doing. I told him he will see. He thought I was taking him to dinner, so was surprised when I asked him if he wanted to eat before or after my plans. He said before and suggested sushi. So I located an awesome hole in the wall sushi place near my surprise location and we enjoyed a meal with Marshmallow. Marshmallow shocked us both when he quickly picked up how to use chopsticks! What a neat addition to our evening out.
After dinner we headed to my surprise meeting spot. He again was really confused because we parked to meet someone else. I tell C to follow her. Once we get out of the car, I open the trunk for him. Something I told him not to open as it contained part of the surprise. When he saw what was in the trunk he was only more confused. She opens hers. In our trunk, I have our police pedal car, the little uniform I made Mashmallow out of an old uniform, and C's uniform hat. Her trunk had a fire truck pedal car. C was so confused. At this point I take C aside. I tell him we are taking a few pictures of Marshmallow. I hand him a plastic bag with the positive pregnancy tests. Thankfully, the digital still showed "pregnant". While he was figuring out what I just handed him, I pull out the signs I made. I tell him, we are here to do a photo shoot with Marshmallow to announce that we are expecting!
His first reaction was "did you get an appointment yet?" Which is the same exact reaction as he had with Marshmallow. To which I told him I had already got one set up. Then I think he was just shocked. Well, shocked and excited. The photographer and I got my idea all set up and did the pictures, while C was just in disbelief!
I had this planned for a while. Back when I first thought of the idea, I asked in a couple facebook groups if anyone had a fire truck pedal car for sale or that I could eventually borrow. The person that replied turned out to be a photographer who used the pedal car as prop. Just my luck! When I told her what I was planning and not really sure when we would need it, just that I wanted to be ready. She immediately offered to do the pictures as as mini-mini session for me for a very reasonable rate. She loved my idea and did not want to miss out on shooting it. So, I ended up messaging her the day I got the positive test result and we got the shoot planned out and set up for 2 days later! So we got it all pulled together very quickly and I got the signs created quickly without C seeing what I was doing.
I wanted to play on that we are first responder family, C is an officer and I was a firefighter. Obviously, the stereotype of cops and donuts had to be included and helped to get Marshmallow to cooperate during the shoot. The signs play on the comment C always says to me, that fire does nothing but stage. That it takes them forever to actually get on-scene, hence the 9 months of staging. The photographer made my vision come to life and so grateful for this beautiful memory captured in a photograph. I absolutely love the end result!
So here we are now nearly 28 weeks from when this picture was taken and only 12 weeks left to go! And I can not wait. I am very excited for our family to grow!
Real Life : Part Four
The last several months have been crazy and so much to
digest. We ended January with a couple more evaluations and a few more checks
on the list of things needed to continue the process for all the things we are
pursuing for Marshmallow.
I took Marshmallow to the school for the speech evaluation. When we got there I asked about the OT evaluation, as I had not gotten a call about setting up that appointment. They surprised me by saying that they would be doing that at the same time as the speech evaluation that day. I was very grateful to hear that as it would keep the process moving quickly. This time they wanted to see if he would go without me, as they did not need any information from me. Thankfully Marshmallow did amazing and went with them with no issues at all. This is something we have been working on at speech therapy for the last couple months. He has started to go to his therapy sessions alone, instead of having daddy or myself in the room with him too. I was nervous about how he would do in a new environment and with two new people interacting with him. The evaluation took about 40 minutes. They came back raving about what a wonderful child he is, which most certainly warmed my heart. They did ask a few questions about his speech and how he acts. The OT therapist asked me if he had ever used scissors. I told her he had not. She shared that she showed him one time how to use them and that he immediately picked it up. She was very impressed. She commented that he had a very high fine motor skill ability. He most certainly makes up in other areas for the ones that he has struggles in. Overall, it sounds like the evaluation went very well and he had a much better experience than the two previous evaluations. It did show his need, but he was cooperative. Which is about the best I can ask for from him.
The school told me that the next step is to come back for the final review and to go over all the findings. I was able to get that scheduled for about a month out for the end of February. Hopefully, this will be the final step and we will be able to finally get Marshmallow started in the preschool!
That same week we had the evaluation with the ABA therapist scheduled. She came out to our home to do the evaluation with us and Marshmallow. She spent about 2 hours with us. Mainly asking us questions and just observing Marshmallow and how he interacts with us. She also had me fill out more questionnaires full of questions about his behavior and our main concerns. Mainly focusing on what type of things set him off, as the tantrum behaviors are the most concerning for us at this time. The evaluation went well and gave a good start. She told us that she would like to do one more evaluation with Marshmallow before setting up the therapy plan for him. This evaluation would be more of her interacting with Marshmallow and seeing what skill level he is at in several areas. Basically a test similar to what the school did, but would be more targeted on him. The test is basically geared more towards toddler age, verses preschool age. So she feels she would be able to get a more accurate reading of where he really is in using this evaluation. After she does this, she will put together the plan for the ABA therapy.
She was also very encouraging in saying that she felt that ABA therapy would be a good fit for Marshmallow and that he should respond well to this type of therapy. Only time will really tell, but definitely encouraging to hear. A good place for us to start for this journey ahead of us.
So that pretty much brings up to pace with where we are in our journey with Marshmallow. We have our meeting scheduled for the review of Marshmallows ASD evaluation, which will happen next week. We have the evaluation scheduled for the meeting with the ABA therapist for end of next week as well. And we have the final review with the preschool scheduled a couple weeks away. Everything is starting to fall into place. Just waiting for all of it to get finalized!
I am slowly learning more about what all this means and how this is going to affect our lives. I am still very overwhelmed, but know as we get more answers and things get started I will start to have a better understanding of everything going on. I know this journey may not be the easiest and that we will have good days and bad ones. But I know that this will all be worth it. I am looking forward to having ways to help our son in his struggles and to get more answers to our questions. I know with every answer, I get more questions. But that is okay. It means that I am learning more.
Please continue to check back for updates about our journey with Marshmallow and other things going on in our crazy lives. Please keep our family in your prayers, as we process everything about this journey in our lives.
Part One - http://smorepuma.blogspot.com/2015/01/real-life-part-one.html
Part Two - http://smorepuma.blogspot.com/2015/02/real-life-part-two.html
Part Three - http://smorepuma.blogspot.com/2015/02/real-life-part-three.html
I took Marshmallow to the school for the speech evaluation. When we got there I asked about the OT evaluation, as I had not gotten a call about setting up that appointment. They surprised me by saying that they would be doing that at the same time as the speech evaluation that day. I was very grateful to hear that as it would keep the process moving quickly. This time they wanted to see if he would go without me, as they did not need any information from me. Thankfully Marshmallow did amazing and went with them with no issues at all. This is something we have been working on at speech therapy for the last couple months. He has started to go to his therapy sessions alone, instead of having daddy or myself in the room with him too. I was nervous about how he would do in a new environment and with two new people interacting with him. The evaluation took about 40 minutes. They came back raving about what a wonderful child he is, which most certainly warmed my heart. They did ask a few questions about his speech and how he acts. The OT therapist asked me if he had ever used scissors. I told her he had not. She shared that she showed him one time how to use them and that he immediately picked it up. She was very impressed. She commented that he had a very high fine motor skill ability. He most certainly makes up in other areas for the ones that he has struggles in. Overall, it sounds like the evaluation went very well and he had a much better experience than the two previous evaluations. It did show his need, but he was cooperative. Which is about the best I can ask for from him.
The school told me that the next step is to come back for the final review and to go over all the findings. I was able to get that scheduled for about a month out for the end of February. Hopefully, this will be the final step and we will be able to finally get Marshmallow started in the preschool!
That same week we had the evaluation with the ABA therapist scheduled. She came out to our home to do the evaluation with us and Marshmallow. She spent about 2 hours with us. Mainly asking us questions and just observing Marshmallow and how he interacts with us. She also had me fill out more questionnaires full of questions about his behavior and our main concerns. Mainly focusing on what type of things set him off, as the tantrum behaviors are the most concerning for us at this time. The evaluation went well and gave a good start. She told us that she would like to do one more evaluation with Marshmallow before setting up the therapy plan for him. This evaluation would be more of her interacting with Marshmallow and seeing what skill level he is at in several areas. Basically a test similar to what the school did, but would be more targeted on him. The test is basically geared more towards toddler age, verses preschool age. So she feels she would be able to get a more accurate reading of where he really is in using this evaluation. After she does this, she will put together the plan for the ABA therapy.
She was also very encouraging in saying that she felt that ABA therapy would be a good fit for Marshmallow and that he should respond well to this type of therapy. Only time will really tell, but definitely encouraging to hear. A good place for us to start for this journey ahead of us.
So that pretty much brings up to pace with where we are in our journey with Marshmallow. We have our meeting scheduled for the review of Marshmallows ASD evaluation, which will happen next week. We have the evaluation scheduled for the meeting with the ABA therapist for end of next week as well. And we have the final review with the preschool scheduled a couple weeks away. Everything is starting to fall into place. Just waiting for all of it to get finalized!
I am slowly learning more about what all this means and how this is going to affect our lives. I am still very overwhelmed, but know as we get more answers and things get started I will start to have a better understanding of everything going on. I know this journey may not be the easiest and that we will have good days and bad ones. But I know that this will all be worth it. I am looking forward to having ways to help our son in his struggles and to get more answers to our questions. I know with every answer, I get more questions. But that is okay. It means that I am learning more.
Please continue to check back for updates about our journey with Marshmallow and other things going on in our crazy lives. Please keep our family in your prayers, as we process everything about this journey in our lives.
Part One - http://smorepuma.blogspot.com/2015/01/real-life-part-one.html
Part Two - http://smorepuma.blogspot.com/2015/02/real-life-part-two.html
Part Three - http://smorepuma.blogspot.com/2015/02/real-life-part-three.html
Friday, February 6, 2015
Real Life : Part Three
Things were
finally start to fall into place after months of questioning myself and
eventually pursuing my questions. I had found a place to take our son to really
begin the next phase of our journey. It took us a little while to get here
because of fear. I admit it, I was scared. I wanted answers, but at the same
time I was scared of what we would discover. It took me a while to prepare for
what was ahead. It took me a while especially as I was battling lack of support
from those around me.
Once again during this time I was battling commentary from many around me. The comments of “he is just a toddler, it is normal “he will grow out of it” “you are just looking for reason, he is fine” “he will catch up, he is still young” continued to fly around me. These comments made me question myself, but just like with Marshmallow’s speech delay, I had a gut feeling and knew something was off with our son. I just wanted answers and knew that while some of this may be him just being a toddler, there were things to be concerned about. The more time I spent around other children in his age group, the more his quirks stood out to me. I did not see many other children displaying many of the behaviors that concerned me. As I began to reach out to those who have walked this road ahead of me, I realized I was right. I was getting the support I needed. They knew the fears I had and yet encouraged me to pursue. It was the support I needed to finally be okay with what the future may hold for our family. No matter how hard or overwhelming the journey may be.
We were now into November. And I had decided to start asking questions about preschool. I had previously asked questions in the fall to find out how it worked for him. I was told that would basically have to wait till at least 3 months before he turned 3 to start any process for the preschool program. The best option to start with would be to contact our school district and get our son enrolled into the developmental preschool program. So that is where I started. I called the school and began the process. I had to get him signed up for an evaluation. So we had this scheduled for December, after a bit of me having to be mama bear to get it scheduled. They wanted to wait till he was already 3 to do the tests, which seemed like a load of bull to me. Thankfully we were out of town during the evaluation day in January so she allowed us to register for the December date. I really just wanted to get the process going, in hopes could start quickly after Marshmallow turned 3. So I had this scheduled for beginning of December as well.
Thankfully, December approached quickly as we waited for these appointments. First up was our appointment with the pediatric psychologist who specialized in autism spectrum disorders. Our appointment with her was long. We were there for just over three hours. She spent a little time asking me questions, but the majority of it was her interacting with Marshmallow and doing her evaluation on him through play. I was surprised at how quickly he warmed up to her and connected with her. It was something I had honestly not seen happen very often, but made me feel good about her getting a good read on our child. She would see more of who he was day to day, verses him on a very bad day and not wanting to cooperate in the slightest bit. He did amazing with her and the evaluation went great. Especially considering how long we were there with her.
Ultimately, she saw my concerns. She basically told me that he fell mildly on the spectrum in several areas, with his speech/communication being the main link in many of the concerns. She discussed with me a little about how autism is currently being diagnosed and what this all means. There have been changes in the recent years with autism and it is no longer being diagnosed the way it was several years ago. It is undergoing a change. It is now autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and it is an umbrella diagnosis which covers many things. It is easier to be diagnosed and in turn get access to the resources needed. ASD is also being diagnosed much early and interventions given much earlier. Much of what she said was over my head and overwhelming. So much to digest, so quickly. But I had a new starting place.
She told me that she will gather everything together for her final diagnosis/evaluation review and that she will meet with us again to go over all of it with both my husband and I. In the meantime, she wanted me to contact our case worker with the insurance and let him know she is recommending Marshmallow for applied behavioral analysis (ABA) therapy. To go ahead and get the ball rolling, as some of the programs have wait lists, and she wanted as little delay in the process as possible. She told me that basically with as much intervention as we can do, that the hope would be in the next 2-3 years there will be little sign that Marshmallow has any signs of falling on the spectrum. Not to say he will be cured, but that he will be able to function with his peers very well with a few possible quirks. These quirks will hopefully be molded into behaviors that are more socially acceptable. Her hope would be that Marshmallow is doing nearly 40 hours a week between ABA therapy, preschool and speech. That the three in combination will give him the best outlook. What that means is that ABA is very intense. We would be looking at several hours of therapy a day with this program. How exactly it looks, we will not know until we meet with the ABA therapist and make a plan. I now had some answers and my concern was validated.
I started to make calls right away. I got a list from our case worker of programs to contact. I emailed the psychologist the list to see which she recommended us to call first, second and third. She was very positive with our options and gave her opinion from her experience in working with the various programs. Sadly, I was discouraged with our first contact. We were outside of their service area and the preschool program they also offered (which would have been a great alternative for us) was full. No wait list option even available. I was heartbroken and scared that the next calls would go the same. I was terrified none of the programs would service our area and that we would just have to settle with a mediocre programs for our son. I sucked it up and left a message with the second office. This time things fell in place. After a long conversation of where we were at in the process and them getting the approval from insurance, we got the process of getting Marshmallow a meeting going. This time the process flowed quickly, despite the hiccup of not having an official diagnosis in hand. Our case worker with our insurance was on our side and wanted to move the process along and have things going simultaneously. So the first step was getting an evaluation with an ABA therapist, so they could design a program/plan specific for Marshmallow. We heard back fairly quickly and got the initial appointment scheduled for the last week in January. Only a few weeks out from where we were!
Our second December appointment was the preschool evaluation. I showed up that day very prepared, with everything they requested I bring with me. I have created a nice binder with all the evaluations and important info on Marshmallow. Works to keep everything in one place for him. They wanted copies of his speech evaluations, his hearing test that we had done over the summer, and all sorts of other stuff. This made it easier for me. So I get there and we wait. Eventually we are taken back to begin the process.
From the moment we began, I knew that this evaluation was not going to go well. We were taken to a class room, where lots of distractions were going on. A few other children in the room and lots of toys and things around the room to distract Marshmallow. The teacher/evaluator sat us down and began the evaluation. But not before Marshmallow grabbed a toy to play with. There was no taking it from him without a meltdown, and she agreed to let him play. She went on to evaluate his speech. Trying to see what words and sounds that Marshmallow could say. How well he articulated. It was a frustrating process for all of us. He had no report with this lady and did not want to cooperate. So every word I have to get his attention, have him look at me and visually stimulate him to repeat the word the best he could. He did okay, but took a lot of prompting and he struggled. She moved on to having him identify a picture in a field of 15 other pictures. This was way over his head. We are working on a field of 3-4 at speech with a picture of object he knows. To ask him to identify something he does not easily know or recognize in such a large field was too much. He did not know what to do. She saw that this was not going to get anywhere with him and we ended this part of the test. As he was done anyhow, he does not do this much “work” at one time in speech, so it was asking a lot of him. We then were taken to another teacher to do the next part of the test in a new room. And this part did not go much better. They were asking him things well above his level. He again had no connection with the teacher and was distracted with a new room. This went on 3 more times. Till the last teacher asked if he was done, and was on the verge of a meltdown. Which he was. It was too much. The test was well over his head. I learned it was geared to 3-5 year olds. Which Marshmallow on most things is not on level with his peers when it comes to speech/cognitive development. Pretty much he was able to do very little of the testing and well we left before they were even done the test. But they saw nothing was going to come of continuing to push. I left discouraged, as I did not know what this meant, other than shows he is in need of this preschool program and should show no questions of him qualifying for it. We were told they would be in touch soon with what the next steps would be.
A couple weeks later, I got a letter in the mail stating they wanted to do further evaluations on Marshmallow to make sure the test was accurate in evaluating him. I was frustrated. I now had to wait more and realized this process was not going to be easy either. We were now into winter break time, so contacting the school was not an option and I had to just wait. I was very glad I had pushed to have his evaluation done sooner than later.
I gave it through the holidays and found out when the school started back up in January. I called the school the second day they were open to find out what we needed to do and set up the next evaluation. This was exactly why I did not want to wait in starting the process originally. I knew I would have hoops to jump through to my son into the school. I just did not know how much or how long. Or what the process even looked like. So I left a message for the person to call me back to set up the appointment. I was able to schedule it for mid-January, actually happened to be on Marshmallow’s 3rd birthday.
So I took Marshmallow back for the 2nd the evaluation. This one was with a contracted psychologist to see if the initial evaluation showed accurate findings. I spent about an hour with the evaluator talking about Marshmallow and where he is in his development. He tried to do some tests with Marshmallow, but they were well over his head. The evaluator after a couple different tries with different approaches, saw that it was beyond what Marshmallow could do and said he had enough information. He most certainly saw that Marshmallow would benefit from the preschool program and would try to encourage the school to expedite the process as much as possible. He told me that the school had 60 days at most to get the process completed. He also told me that the program would be 3 hours 4 days a week and the cost is 100% covered through the state. As they finalized everything we would get more of the details, but that he is recommending us for the program. He was happy to know that we were already in the process of pursuing an ASD diagnosis, as he noticed some things during the meeting that were concerning to him. He also in addition to the school doing a speech evaluation, wanted the school to also do an OT evaluation as well. I already got the speech evaluation scheduled and was told they would contact me to schedule the OT evaluation. The speech evaluation was scheduled for a couple more weeks out.
Things were finally starting to fall into place. So much going on at once. Waiting for the final review of an ASD diagnosis, getting the ABA therapy plan figured out and started, and enrolling Marshmallow in preschool. Life has been a bit crazy, with lots to take in and learn. But feeling better that we have a plan and a direction. Just waiting for everything to all come together.
Once again during this time I was battling commentary from many around me. The comments of “he is just a toddler, it is normal “he will grow out of it” “you are just looking for reason, he is fine” “he will catch up, he is still young” continued to fly around me. These comments made me question myself, but just like with Marshmallow’s speech delay, I had a gut feeling and knew something was off with our son. I just wanted answers and knew that while some of this may be him just being a toddler, there were things to be concerned about. The more time I spent around other children in his age group, the more his quirks stood out to me. I did not see many other children displaying many of the behaviors that concerned me. As I began to reach out to those who have walked this road ahead of me, I realized I was right. I was getting the support I needed. They knew the fears I had and yet encouraged me to pursue. It was the support I needed to finally be okay with what the future may hold for our family. No matter how hard or overwhelming the journey may be.
We were now into November. And I had decided to start asking questions about preschool. I had previously asked questions in the fall to find out how it worked for him. I was told that would basically have to wait till at least 3 months before he turned 3 to start any process for the preschool program. The best option to start with would be to contact our school district and get our son enrolled into the developmental preschool program. So that is where I started. I called the school and began the process. I had to get him signed up for an evaluation. So we had this scheduled for December, after a bit of me having to be mama bear to get it scheduled. They wanted to wait till he was already 3 to do the tests, which seemed like a load of bull to me. Thankfully we were out of town during the evaluation day in January so she allowed us to register for the December date. I really just wanted to get the process going, in hopes could start quickly after Marshmallow turned 3. So I had this scheduled for beginning of December as well.
Thankfully, December approached quickly as we waited for these appointments. First up was our appointment with the pediatric psychologist who specialized in autism spectrum disorders. Our appointment with her was long. We were there for just over three hours. She spent a little time asking me questions, but the majority of it was her interacting with Marshmallow and doing her evaluation on him through play. I was surprised at how quickly he warmed up to her and connected with her. It was something I had honestly not seen happen very often, but made me feel good about her getting a good read on our child. She would see more of who he was day to day, verses him on a very bad day and not wanting to cooperate in the slightest bit. He did amazing with her and the evaluation went great. Especially considering how long we were there with her.
Ultimately, she saw my concerns. She basically told me that he fell mildly on the spectrum in several areas, with his speech/communication being the main link in many of the concerns. She discussed with me a little about how autism is currently being diagnosed and what this all means. There have been changes in the recent years with autism and it is no longer being diagnosed the way it was several years ago. It is undergoing a change. It is now autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and it is an umbrella diagnosis which covers many things. It is easier to be diagnosed and in turn get access to the resources needed. ASD is also being diagnosed much early and interventions given much earlier. Much of what she said was over my head and overwhelming. So much to digest, so quickly. But I had a new starting place.
She told me that she will gather everything together for her final diagnosis/evaluation review and that she will meet with us again to go over all of it with both my husband and I. In the meantime, she wanted me to contact our case worker with the insurance and let him know she is recommending Marshmallow for applied behavioral analysis (ABA) therapy. To go ahead and get the ball rolling, as some of the programs have wait lists, and she wanted as little delay in the process as possible. She told me that basically with as much intervention as we can do, that the hope would be in the next 2-3 years there will be little sign that Marshmallow has any signs of falling on the spectrum. Not to say he will be cured, but that he will be able to function with his peers very well with a few possible quirks. These quirks will hopefully be molded into behaviors that are more socially acceptable. Her hope would be that Marshmallow is doing nearly 40 hours a week between ABA therapy, preschool and speech. That the three in combination will give him the best outlook. What that means is that ABA is very intense. We would be looking at several hours of therapy a day with this program. How exactly it looks, we will not know until we meet with the ABA therapist and make a plan. I now had some answers and my concern was validated.
I started to make calls right away. I got a list from our case worker of programs to contact. I emailed the psychologist the list to see which she recommended us to call first, second and third. She was very positive with our options and gave her opinion from her experience in working with the various programs. Sadly, I was discouraged with our first contact. We were outside of their service area and the preschool program they also offered (which would have been a great alternative for us) was full. No wait list option even available. I was heartbroken and scared that the next calls would go the same. I was terrified none of the programs would service our area and that we would just have to settle with a mediocre programs for our son. I sucked it up and left a message with the second office. This time things fell in place. After a long conversation of where we were at in the process and them getting the approval from insurance, we got the process of getting Marshmallow a meeting going. This time the process flowed quickly, despite the hiccup of not having an official diagnosis in hand. Our case worker with our insurance was on our side and wanted to move the process along and have things going simultaneously. So the first step was getting an evaluation with an ABA therapist, so they could design a program/plan specific for Marshmallow. We heard back fairly quickly and got the initial appointment scheduled for the last week in January. Only a few weeks out from where we were!
Our second December appointment was the preschool evaluation. I showed up that day very prepared, with everything they requested I bring with me. I have created a nice binder with all the evaluations and important info on Marshmallow. Works to keep everything in one place for him. They wanted copies of his speech evaluations, his hearing test that we had done over the summer, and all sorts of other stuff. This made it easier for me. So I get there and we wait. Eventually we are taken back to begin the process.
From the moment we began, I knew that this evaluation was not going to go well. We were taken to a class room, where lots of distractions were going on. A few other children in the room and lots of toys and things around the room to distract Marshmallow. The teacher/evaluator sat us down and began the evaluation. But not before Marshmallow grabbed a toy to play with. There was no taking it from him without a meltdown, and she agreed to let him play. She went on to evaluate his speech. Trying to see what words and sounds that Marshmallow could say. How well he articulated. It was a frustrating process for all of us. He had no report with this lady and did not want to cooperate. So every word I have to get his attention, have him look at me and visually stimulate him to repeat the word the best he could. He did okay, but took a lot of prompting and he struggled. She moved on to having him identify a picture in a field of 15 other pictures. This was way over his head. We are working on a field of 3-4 at speech with a picture of object he knows. To ask him to identify something he does not easily know or recognize in such a large field was too much. He did not know what to do. She saw that this was not going to get anywhere with him and we ended this part of the test. As he was done anyhow, he does not do this much “work” at one time in speech, so it was asking a lot of him. We then were taken to another teacher to do the next part of the test in a new room. And this part did not go much better. They were asking him things well above his level. He again had no connection with the teacher and was distracted with a new room. This went on 3 more times. Till the last teacher asked if he was done, and was on the verge of a meltdown. Which he was. It was too much. The test was well over his head. I learned it was geared to 3-5 year olds. Which Marshmallow on most things is not on level with his peers when it comes to speech/cognitive development. Pretty much he was able to do very little of the testing and well we left before they were even done the test. But they saw nothing was going to come of continuing to push. I left discouraged, as I did not know what this meant, other than shows he is in need of this preschool program and should show no questions of him qualifying for it. We were told they would be in touch soon with what the next steps would be.
A couple weeks later, I got a letter in the mail stating they wanted to do further evaluations on Marshmallow to make sure the test was accurate in evaluating him. I was frustrated. I now had to wait more and realized this process was not going to be easy either. We were now into winter break time, so contacting the school was not an option and I had to just wait. I was very glad I had pushed to have his evaluation done sooner than later.
I gave it through the holidays and found out when the school started back up in January. I called the school the second day they were open to find out what we needed to do and set up the next evaluation. This was exactly why I did not want to wait in starting the process originally. I knew I would have hoops to jump through to my son into the school. I just did not know how much or how long. Or what the process even looked like. So I left a message for the person to call me back to set up the appointment. I was able to schedule it for mid-January, actually happened to be on Marshmallow’s 3rd birthday.
So I took Marshmallow back for the 2nd the evaluation. This one was with a contracted psychologist to see if the initial evaluation showed accurate findings. I spent about an hour with the evaluator talking about Marshmallow and where he is in his development. He tried to do some tests with Marshmallow, but they were well over his head. The evaluator after a couple different tries with different approaches, saw that it was beyond what Marshmallow could do and said he had enough information. He most certainly saw that Marshmallow would benefit from the preschool program and would try to encourage the school to expedite the process as much as possible. He told me that the school had 60 days at most to get the process completed. He also told me that the program would be 3 hours 4 days a week and the cost is 100% covered through the state. As they finalized everything we would get more of the details, but that he is recommending us for the program. He was happy to know that we were already in the process of pursuing an ASD diagnosis, as he noticed some things during the meeting that were concerning to him. He also in addition to the school doing a speech evaluation, wanted the school to also do an OT evaluation as well. I already got the speech evaluation scheduled and was told they would contact me to schedule the OT evaluation. The speech evaluation was scheduled for a couple more weeks out.
Things were finally starting to fall into place. So much going on at once. Waiting for the final review of an ASD diagnosis, getting the ABA therapy plan figured out and started, and enrolling Marshmallow in preschool. Life has been a bit crazy, with lots to take in and learn. But feeling better that we have a plan and a direction. Just waiting for everything to all come together.
Click here to read Part Four.
http://smorepuma.blogspot.com/2015/02/real-life-part-four.html - part four
http://smorepuma.blogspot.com/2015/01/real-life-part-one.html - part one
http://smorepuma.blogspot.com/2015/02/real-life-part-two.html - part two
http://smorepuma.blogspot.com/2015/02/real-life-part-four.html - part four
http://smorepuma.blogspot.com/2015/01/real-life-part-one.html - part one
http://smorepuma.blogspot.com/2015/02/real-life-part-two.html - part two
Real Life : Part Two
So, why autism?
As I mentioned in part one, when
we first started at the therapist office they set up 6 month goals for Sam.
When this was done, we were told that he may reach them, he may not. That every
child is different and his progress will be his own. They will adjust the
goals as needed when we hit the 6 months. These goals were nothing crazy and
was hopeful of the progress we would see in the coming months. Over the months,
progress was slow going for us. It took us a several sessions to understand and
feel comfortable with what we needed to be doing at home to work with
Marshmallow every day. With each session, we started to feel more comfortable.
We did not see a lot of progress to start, but did start to see little by
little some progress. But it was most certainly not the progress I was hoping
for. When his 6 month evaluation came around I was frustrated with the little
progress Marshmallow had made. While he made progress, it was nowhere near
where we had hoped. And this is not to say we were not excited to see the progress
he had made because we were thrilled with every milestone he hit, it just was
hard to see the progress take so long and disappointed to see where he was with
his goals at 6 months. So six months
into our speech therapy journey this is where Marshmallow was with his goals at
2.5 years old.
Goal 1 : Will increase his independent expressive vocabulary to 50 words. Progress good. Goal not yet met. He is using 42 words independently.
Goal 1 : Will increase his independent expressive vocabulary to 50 words. Progress good. Goal not yet met. He is using 42 words independently.
Goal 2 : Will use 1 – 2 word
combinations with semantic relations (beginning with words containing early
developing sounds) to request, reject or protest provided minimal verbal cues
in 4/5 opportunities across 3 consecutive sessions. Progress fair. Goal not met. He is using more words independently, but
requires a verbal prompt, choice or model 90% of the time. Using 2 words
combinations in imitation only.
Goal 3 : Will receptively
identify body parts and clothing items in a field of 3 provided no more than 2
verbal prompts and visual support in 4/5 opportunities across 3 consecutive
sessions. Progress fair. Goal not met. Identified
clothing in a field of 3 in 4/5 opportunities in one session.
Goal 4 : Will follow 2-step
related directions provided visual support and no more than 2 verbal
repetitions in 4/5 opportunities across 3 consecutive sessions. Progress fair. Goal not met. Following 2
step related directions with 60% accuracy given a gestural cue.
Goal 5 : Will receptively
identify common animals, household items and transportation items in a field of
3 provided no more than 2 verbal prompts in 4/5 opportunities across 3
consecutive sessions. Progress fair. Goal
not met. Identified 4/5 animals in a field of 2 in one session and 2/5 in a
field of 2 in another session.
Goal 6 : Will use words,
environmental sounds and/or gestures to communicate during conversational
exchange throughout a play activity in at least 3 activities per treatment
session across 3 consecutive sessions. Progress
good. Goal not met. He is making environmental sounds throughout play
activities with models. Uses gestures (pointing) to request an activity, but
will rly on grabbing items independently without a redirection to use words. He
requires a verbal prompt to use words throughout the session.
Overall, he made a progress, but
had not met any of the goals and was only relatively close on two of them. For
the majority of the goals, he was not even close. They readjusted the goals and
continued most of them for him to reach in another 6 months. Ultimately, I was
disappointed and most certainly frustrated. Not that it was not working or that
Marshmallow was not getting it, but because I was hoping for more progress. At
this point, I became more concerned with why he was having slow progress. Was
something else playing a part in his communication issues? Was this a deeper
issue that we had not discovered yet? What more can we do to help encourage his
progress more? I was full of questions and no answers. I sat on these questions
for a little while, and in the meantime I started to notice certain things that
raised some more red flags for me about our son.
About this time Marshmallow had regressed in his bedtime routine. He was always easy with bedtime, to the point he would go upstairs to his room, climb in, pull his blanket up and say night night and give me a kiss on his own. He now would no longer put himself to bed, or even sleep in his own room and continued to have bad night terrors. Our independent child, was no longer super independent. He started to cling to us more. I was told it is just a phase, but it got worse. Bedtime is STILL a major problem over 6 months later. I started to pick up other subtle things that I had either not taken the time to notice or brushed off as “toddler” behavior. In the next couple months I noticed that he could care less about playing with other children. That he would make little eye contact when spoken to. I noticed he would be in his own world and without me getting his eye contact, he would not “hear” us or respond, that I had to physically tap him at times or get in his face to get his attention. I noticed he would flap his arms in extreme excitement and the bad tantrums were becoming extreme. I noticed he was very particular about how toys were played with and would meltdown if we did something that was not “his” way. He would become obsessed. I noticed when in places with lots of activity, he had no clue what to do and would become a ping pong ball bouncing from one thing to another, never really focusing on any one thing. And the list goes on. My list of concerns started to grow more and more. Some days I felt like a crazy person looking for issues and other days I just knew his speech delay had a deeper issue connected. I had that mommy gut feeling again, that something was off. And my focus was on autism.
A little more time passed and I eventually I had the courage to bring it up with the speech therapist. She told me to talk to our pediatrician to see what she thought and to get the next step. It took me a while to get the nerve to set up that appointment. Part of me knew and wanted answers, the other part of me was scared of what we would find out. Sadly, I again had little support and was very much pursuing this on my own. I finally made the appointment. It was for a couple weeks out, as it was going to be a longer appointment with our pediatrician. We went. And sadly I was heavily disappointed in how it went. She saw some of my concerns, but basically said that it was up to us if we wanted to pursue anything. Which I do understand, but I was hoping for some confirmation. I basically left the appointment frustrated that I did not have great support in my questions from our pediatrician. She had given me a sheet of paper with information that basically said to contact our insurance to see what coverage we had for behavioral/mental health. The wording made me uneasy. I thought we would just see another pediatrician or specialist similar to what we did with speech. But mental health? This was not what I was expecting. I did not want this following my son forever, or for him to be considered a mental case. What was this all about? I just wanted to have him evaluated for autism, not a mental disorder. How was autism a mental health issue? What did that mean? How was it not similar to just getting him therapy like he was for speech? My worries and lack of support made me step back for a bit. I had to take time to process what this all meant and really consider what pursuing my concerns would mean. Honestly, I had to get over the stigma and become okay with whatever I was to find out, if I pursued all this.
In the meantime, started to ask around on various mom groups to see what others on this same journey had dealt with. What options they took and what direction was best to really take. I finally was getting some support and realized I was right in pursuing this now. That this was about getting Marshmallow all the help he needs, during the most important years, and finding ways we can best support him. So I made the calls. Only to get nowhere once again and fell like I was banging my head into a wall over and over again. Our insurance had given me a list of 8 offices to call. I called each of them, all of them I reached only answering services and left messages. Eventually hearing back from each of them. Not one could help us. None of them took patients Marshmallows age or they were no longer taking new clients. I was at a dead end and extremely frustrated. I was overwhelmed with everything already and to get no answers and have no direction to go I was at a loss. I called back the insurance for more information and tell them I was getting nowhere. I pushed hard during the call for answers of where do we go from here? After being transferred a couple times, I was told they were going to connect me to an autism case worker. Awesome! Finally something. I left him a message. He got back to me and we talked for about an hour. He agreed that there was reason for concern and to pursue an evaluation. He gave me information on who he felt was the best person for us to contact.
I called the office and left a message. Then the waiting game. It took a while for her office to get back to me and get the evaluation appointment set up. But we got an appointment set up!! FINALLY a step in a direction. After I set up the appointment, the therapist called me to discuss Marshmallow. We talked for a bit and told me what she needed from me before the evaluation, what the evaluation would look like and tried to prepare me for what was ahead. So the evaluation was set for December, which was about 3 weeks away! I was excited to not be hit with a 6 month wait, which is something I was half expecting. We finally were on a path and heading in a direction. Where that path lead, was a whole new question.
Continue reading about our journey in Part Three.
http://smorepuma.blogspot.com/2015/02/real-life-part-three.html - part three
http://smorepuma.blogspot.com/2015/01/real-life-part-one.html - part one
About this time Marshmallow had regressed in his bedtime routine. He was always easy with bedtime, to the point he would go upstairs to his room, climb in, pull his blanket up and say night night and give me a kiss on his own. He now would no longer put himself to bed, or even sleep in his own room and continued to have bad night terrors. Our independent child, was no longer super independent. He started to cling to us more. I was told it is just a phase, but it got worse. Bedtime is STILL a major problem over 6 months later. I started to pick up other subtle things that I had either not taken the time to notice or brushed off as “toddler” behavior. In the next couple months I noticed that he could care less about playing with other children. That he would make little eye contact when spoken to. I noticed he would be in his own world and without me getting his eye contact, he would not “hear” us or respond, that I had to physically tap him at times or get in his face to get his attention. I noticed he would flap his arms in extreme excitement and the bad tantrums were becoming extreme. I noticed he was very particular about how toys were played with and would meltdown if we did something that was not “his” way. He would become obsessed. I noticed when in places with lots of activity, he had no clue what to do and would become a ping pong ball bouncing from one thing to another, never really focusing on any one thing. And the list goes on. My list of concerns started to grow more and more. Some days I felt like a crazy person looking for issues and other days I just knew his speech delay had a deeper issue connected. I had that mommy gut feeling again, that something was off. And my focus was on autism.
A little more time passed and I eventually I had the courage to bring it up with the speech therapist. She told me to talk to our pediatrician to see what she thought and to get the next step. It took me a while to get the nerve to set up that appointment. Part of me knew and wanted answers, the other part of me was scared of what we would find out. Sadly, I again had little support and was very much pursuing this on my own. I finally made the appointment. It was for a couple weeks out, as it was going to be a longer appointment with our pediatrician. We went. And sadly I was heavily disappointed in how it went. She saw some of my concerns, but basically said that it was up to us if we wanted to pursue anything. Which I do understand, but I was hoping for some confirmation. I basically left the appointment frustrated that I did not have great support in my questions from our pediatrician. She had given me a sheet of paper with information that basically said to contact our insurance to see what coverage we had for behavioral/mental health. The wording made me uneasy. I thought we would just see another pediatrician or specialist similar to what we did with speech. But mental health? This was not what I was expecting. I did not want this following my son forever, or for him to be considered a mental case. What was this all about? I just wanted to have him evaluated for autism, not a mental disorder. How was autism a mental health issue? What did that mean? How was it not similar to just getting him therapy like he was for speech? My worries and lack of support made me step back for a bit. I had to take time to process what this all meant and really consider what pursuing my concerns would mean. Honestly, I had to get over the stigma and become okay with whatever I was to find out, if I pursued all this.
In the meantime, started to ask around on various mom groups to see what others on this same journey had dealt with. What options they took and what direction was best to really take. I finally was getting some support and realized I was right in pursuing this now. That this was about getting Marshmallow all the help he needs, during the most important years, and finding ways we can best support him. So I made the calls. Only to get nowhere once again and fell like I was banging my head into a wall over and over again. Our insurance had given me a list of 8 offices to call. I called each of them, all of them I reached only answering services and left messages. Eventually hearing back from each of them. Not one could help us. None of them took patients Marshmallows age or they were no longer taking new clients. I was at a dead end and extremely frustrated. I was overwhelmed with everything already and to get no answers and have no direction to go I was at a loss. I called back the insurance for more information and tell them I was getting nowhere. I pushed hard during the call for answers of where do we go from here? After being transferred a couple times, I was told they were going to connect me to an autism case worker. Awesome! Finally something. I left him a message. He got back to me and we talked for about an hour. He agreed that there was reason for concern and to pursue an evaluation. He gave me information on who he felt was the best person for us to contact.
I called the office and left a message. Then the waiting game. It took a while for her office to get back to me and get the evaluation appointment set up. But we got an appointment set up!! FINALLY a step in a direction. After I set up the appointment, the therapist called me to discuss Marshmallow. We talked for a bit and told me what she needed from me before the evaluation, what the evaluation would look like and tried to prepare me for what was ahead. So the evaluation was set for December, which was about 3 weeks away! I was excited to not be hit with a 6 month wait, which is something I was half expecting. We finally were on a path and heading in a direction. Where that path lead, was a whole new question.
Continue reading about our journey in Part Three.
http://smorepuma.blogspot.com/2015/02/real-life-part-three.html - part three
http://smorepuma.blogspot.com/2015/01/real-life-part-one.html - part one
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