Real life... once again.

My life just got another dose of reality. It is, what it is. Just taking everything one day at a time and once again will do everything in my power for my children. This time it is with Skywalker. At his 1 year appointment I brought up my concerns about his speech development. I felt he was not hitting proper milestones for communication, or showing signs he was on his way to hitting them. We talked and she agreed that it was worth doing an evaluation to see where he falls and if he qualifies for support/therapy.

We had the first appointment yesterday with Early Intervention. This was just a brief assessment to see if the concern is valid and if a full assessment is needed. Even before we got started she told me she was going to put in to have a full evaluation done due to family history and talking me she knew I my gut was worth something. But her evaluation confirmed it. So we will be having a full evaluation done on Skywalker in the coming weeks for a communication delay. I do not feel he has any other delays, but they will do a full evaluation to be sure nothing else is showing. I am grateful for that. Maybe if things had been handled this way with Marshmallow, we would have known about his autism 18 months sooner!! And looking at the evaluation forms, we would have!

So it begins all over again. And of course it is all in the midst of me feeling like there is not enough of me to go around. With no back-up and little support locally. I need a mommy break. I need a break. I have been burning the candle at both ends for months, even before hubby left. I somehow find the energy to get through each new day and keep trudging forward. But it is not without wear. I am grateful I have my concerns validated, but not thrilled to have more therapy and more to focus on in my already maxed out day. It will be nice to have C home again, but that will not be for many more months. So it is just me.

I have to chuckle Marshmallow is trying his prompts on Skywalker, so he will be a great little therapy helper. He told Skywalker he had to say "I want popcorn, please" in order for him to get the popcorn. I could not help but laugh. He gets it. Which is why that prompt is an expectation for Marshmallow. He knows it, and even is telling his brother how it works!! Thankfully, in this all it is something we already are doing and working on. I just want Skywalker to get the extra support he too deserves and needs. Also maybe learn a new way or two to help him with this delay, but for the most part. I got this. I know what we are doing. I have been doing, which is why I had concerns. Me doing therapy with him on my own is not making a difference. He is not desiring to mimic and communicate. But it will come. Just got to help him a long a little.

So my days will soon become that much more full. My days are never ending and seem to blur together. Skywalker is still keeping me up at night, waking several times a night for the most part. Every once in a while he only wakes once (like once a week, if I am lucky). Then my days look like this  ::

Monday :: 7a - wake up // get dressed // breakfast // make snack for school // 745a - leave to drop Marshmallow off at school // home to feed, dress and change Skywalker // work on chores or run errands while only have one kid // 1045a - leave to pick up Marshmallow // 1130a - home for therapy with J // therapy with J & try to get a few things done in between working with Marshmallow // 4p - J leaves // 420p - get ready and leave for karate // 520p - head home // dinner // bath // bedtime by 8p // do things around the home // write C a letter // hope to get to bed before 11p // feedings with Skywalker usually every 2-3 hours all night long

Tuesday :: 7a - wake up // get dressed // breakfast // make snack for school // 745a - leave to drop Marshmallow off at school // home to feed, dress and change Skywalker // work on chores or run errands while only have one kid // 1045a - leave to pick up Marshmallow // 1115a - OT for Marshmallow // adventure, usually to the zoo or errands // 3p - speech therapy with Marshmallow // 4p - head home // 515p - arrive home // dinner // bedtime by 8p // do things around the home // write C a letter // hope to get to bed before 11p // feedings with Skywalker usually every 2-3 hours all night long

Wednesday :: 7a - wake up // get dressed // breakfast // make snack for school // 745a - leave to drop Marshmallow off at school // home to feed, dress and change Skywalker // work on chores or run errands while only have one kid // 1045a - leave to pick up Marshmallow // 1130a - home for therapy with J // therapy with J & try to get a few things done in between working with Marshmallow // 345p - J leaves // 345p - get ready and leave for karate // 5p - head home // dinner // bath // bedtime by 8p // do things around the home // write C a letter // hope to get to bed before 11p // feedings with Skywalker usually every 2-3 hours all night long

Thursday :: 7a - wake up // get dressed // breakfast // make snack for school // 745a - leave to drop Marshmallow off at school // home to feed, dress and change Skywalker // work on chores or run errands while only have one kid // 1045a - leave to pick up Marshmallow // 1130a - home for therapy with J // therapy with J & try to get a few things done in between working with Marshmallow // 4p - J leaves // a little time with the boys // dinner // bedtime by 8p // do things around the home // write C a letter // hope to get to bed before 11p // feedings with Skywalker usually every 2-3 hours all night long

Friday :: 7a - wake up // get dressed // breakfast // errands or doctor appointments or get things done // 1130a - home for therapy with J // therapy with J & try to get a few things done in between working with Marshmallow // a friend has been coming over to help so I get a few more things done and Marshmallow gets to work on social goals during therapy // 4p - J leaves // dinner // bath // bedtime by 8p // do things around the home // write C a letter // hope to get to bed before 11p // feedings with Skywalker usually every 2-3 hours all night long

Saturday :: 7a - wake up // get dressed // breakfast // 9a - karate // 10a - home from karate // get things done around the house if possible or get out of the house with the boys // work on a day of the home school curriculum // lunch in there somewhere //dinner by 6p // bath // bedtime by 8p // do things around the home // write C a letter // hope to get to bed before 11p // feedings with Skywalker usually every 2-3 hours all night long

Sunday :: 7a - wake up // get dressed // breakfast // 945a - leave for church // 12p - home from church // lunch // school lesson // play and get things done // dinner by 6p // bedtime by 8p // do things around the home // write C a letter // hope to get to bed before 11p // feedings with Skywalker usually every 2-3 hours all night long

This is the gist of my day, weekly. My days are full and never stopping. I am standing currently in the kitchen as I type this.

Oh and for the first time EVER since having my own phone plan I went over on my minutes. BY TWO HOURS! I used around 520 minutes this past month making phone calls to get things done. I never touch my not in plan minutes or whatever you want to call them. I use maybe 30 minutes a month. Pretty much all my calls are to our "friends and family 10" or they are verizon users. So want to know what I do in my spare time between tantrums/meltdowns, therapy, and loosing my mind. I am on the phone dealing with therapy, tricare, doctor offices, planning our trip to see C at the end of this month, the stupid MVD, calling the court for a jury duty notice. You name it I have dealt with it on the phone. And being put on hold forever!!

Yet, somehow I always find a way to get through each day and onto the next. My house is NOT clean. There are always dishes in the sink. I only shower about twice a week (cant believe I am admitting this). The kids are fed. The dog is fed. And we are all alive. That is about all I can handle right now. But I got this! 

How are we almost in MAY?

This year is just flying by. I do not know where any of this year has actually gone. My days fly by with a blink of the eye. We are just so busy with everything going on in life. Plus lots of big changes have been happening for our family. The biggest is I am officially a military wife. Hubby is at basic training for the Air Force. We are 21 days in and he will not be back home until November. So we have a while to go. It is a HUGE change for our family for sure. I have spent much of the last couple months preparing our family for this change to make the transition as smooth as possible for our boys, but especially for Marshmallow.

We have been hold up very well. Marshmallow is currently exploring and discovering emotions. Great timing for such a huge emotional change, so he is a bit of a roller-coaster ride right now. But I expected nothing less. We take it moment by moment. We have done a ton to help him with this transition though. C did a million and one videos before he left of reading books, singing bed time songs, just goofing off and a few love notes for each week for us all to watch. I stock piled the military, daddy leaving, books and we read one every night. Both boys also got a "daddy bear", a Build-a-Bear that is in military camo with a voice recording from C. I also got both boys a blanket that C slept with for the month before he left. A special daddy blanket that is full of hugs and love, for each of our kiddos. Marshmallow does like to bring daddy bear around with us from time to time, which is fine. I will not limit him doing this in any way. Skywalker just giggles and smiles when I play the voice recording and tackles his daddy bear. He too likes to drag his daddy bear all over the house.

I have also put together a paper chain for Marshmallow to countdown till our first visit to see daddy at his basic training graduation. Which is 30 days from today. That has helped his visually see the days we have till we get to see daddy. He has not fully grasped the idea, but does understand it. He knows we see daddy when we finish pulling them all off. But he does not fully get the why. And that is okay. We are just taking it one day at a time. He has some sad days and some very sad moments. But I can usually cheer him up fairly quickly. We talk about daddy, and what daddy is doing, and when we get to see him. He tells me "Daddy miss me." "Daddy leave. Daddy Air Show." "Miss Daddy." And every time we hear a plan he tells me daddy at air show school. He is too stinking cute.

So we are just chugging along. I am keeping things tied together and just going one foot in front of the other. Life is busy, which helps a ton. Marshmallow is doing about 20 hours a week of ABA therapy now. Plus he is doing the hour of speech, hour of OT and hour of PT. Plus karate 4 days a week. We stay busy. Between school and therapy, he has a full time job. But every minute of all of it is so worth it. He is no where near the same kid he was 1 year ago! He has come so far in such a short time. It is absolutely crazy to reflect back on where he was a year ago, to where he is today.

A year ago, he was saying one word sentences. Mainly with prompts or mimicked speech. Today he is telling me stories about his day and having full conversations with me. Today he told his ABA therapist about the time, months ago, when a bird flew into our kitchen window. How he remembers this stuff, I will never know. But he was so excited to share that with his therapist today. We are still lacking some language and he is still a bit hard to understand, especially to those who do not spend much time with him. But he is trying and wanting to communicate! A year ago, he would not look at someone in the eyes. He would not interact or play with a peer unless the peer initiated the play. He was barely even participating in parallel play (playing next to, but not with someone). Now he will go grab a peers hand and tell them to play with him or tell them to come and play. He will look you in the eye, sometimes with encouragement and prompting, but he can and will do it! We never force. My child who a year ago would only eat a few things and panicked about foods on his plate will eat a few bites of everything on his plate. Yes, I have to encourage and remind him of our 4 bite rule, but he does and with little struggle. We still have lots to improve on, but he is a seriously amazing kiddo. It is so amazing to see how far he has come in a year.

Our therapists constantly tell us he is the prime example of early intervention working. All the hours of therapy, all the hours of stress, all the hours of struggle are worth it. I put it down to all the hours of therapy, the consistency and routine we have put in place. We have picked out battles and I have my set expectations for behavior. I can not waiver from the lines we have drawn. It is hard, but so worth it. He never stops amazing us with what he is capable of. We are very blessed by him, and Skywalker too.

So life for now ticks on. Skywalker for the most part is just along for the ride for now. But he is starting to become his own little personality. And can not believe he will be 1 in just a few short days! I will hopefully post more about him soon. He is certainly my little fire cracker and always keeps me on my toes. But would not have it any other ways. So for now it is just me and the boys cruising along. We are doing well. Just taking everything moment by moment, and day by day. We can do it!